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Obsessed? Yeah, kind of.

I'm a little bit too obsessed with my weight..
i've been this way for almost 3 years.
i'm constantly trying to lose weight. it's always on my mind that i'm fat.
i can never seem to follow through with a diet.
it's in my mind every second of the day, though of how fat i am and how i hate myself and my body.
it's crazy.
i hate my absurd acne.
i have stretch marks and i'm only 14.
and no they're not just small little stretch marks in one place. 
they're practically every where.
i just hate being in my own skin.
am i crazy?
OddFutureWolfHaley OddFutureWolfHaley 13-15 9 Responses Jun 5, 2012

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I'm 17 and I was like that when I was 15... I talked to my doctor about acne medicine, she gave me some cream that works like magic. Don't let those seemingly perfect girls get you down. <br />
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And by the way, I have a small amount of hair on my feet too. I shave it off if I wear flip flops or heels in public.

thank you for your comment. &lt;3

Hey, i'm 24 now, and i have been through what you have, i got very light acne when i was five, which grew and spread over my back, chest, shoulders, tops of my arms and face. <br />
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I'm chubby too. <br />
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It can be related to early stages of PCOS or just that you just have too many hormones flying about. <br />
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I had a healthy diet and my acne was really hellish and angry. I come from a family whom always eat fresh and well prepared food, cooked healthily but we eat heartily. <br />
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To be honest though for a while, nothing i did helped. I cut out chocolate, fizzy drinks, all fried food. To no help. As i grew older (18-19) they naturally started to calm down quite abit. It was rough for me as a teen (11-16) though. Now i'm 24, and i still have some acne but alot less. <br />
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I know at 12 it feels like the world hates you and you would do anything for clear skin, but know that it won't last forever. <br />
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Try 'teatree' products, they work for alot of people, it may flare up the first few times you use them but they do tend to be quite effective. <br />
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I love the 'seaweed' range by the bodyshop. I don't know for sure if they ship outside of the UK, but i think they do. <br />
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The best advice is to surround yourself with positve people, my friends are amazing people whom gave me so much confidence. I had a happy school life because of them despite my parenst and family being less than supportive. <br />
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Hope this helps.. xx

thankyou for the comment. Truley does help

I understand how you feel even at my age I have personal issues with the way I look. I have never had a good thought about myself growing up. from the time I was little I have always been picked on for many things. I was picked on for being short chubby, and having pimples as well. My selfesteem is so low that it has caused me to ruin a relationship. You arent alone feeling this way there are plenty of us that feels this way and it dont matter what age you are. I hope that you find someone that will love you for who you are inside and out!

i hope so too. thankyou for the comment, :)

Dear fellow freak of nature<br />
That's a joke, your normal!<br />
ACHNOLAGE the fact that you have some good points as well as bad points. <br />
Achnie, will go away.<br />
Every girl has stretch marks you dumass! <br />
Your so beautiful just the way you are! <br />
One day you will find someone who accepts you, flaws and all!<br />
All you see are those flaws, vividly. Nobody else looks at them in that much detail and the people who do won't see them as flaws atall! If you want to chat more about this then message me, I know exactly what your going trough<br />
<br />
Sara x

Thanks xx

Just be sure that you learn to live healthy. Don't track your weight. That's an almost useless measure by itself. Instead track your body-mass-index (BMI). Still kinda flimsy, but much better than tracking your weight alone. Get some exercise! I know it's tough for kids these days. There are so many things to do that don't require exercise, but if you get in the habit now you'll be healthy because of it your whole life. <br />
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As to acne, and puberty, I'd count your blessings. You're getting over it early and by the time you hit that age where boys start asking you on dates, and where you'll be wanting to go on dates, you'll be done with it while all the other girls are caking on the heavy makeup to cover theirs up! :)<br />
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And I agree with BH, if that's you in your avatar you will be fighting the boys off with sharp sticks when they're old enough to quit pulling your hair and teasing you! ;)

Very funny, i loved this comment! Unfortunately, i dont always look this pretty as i do my default. Id say im photogenic, and when it comes to in person, im just not as pretty as i am in pictures. lol. but thanks, i enjoyed your commentt.

only gonna throw down a few point and hopeing that they will register. <br />
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spots and crap do tend to clear up as you get older and often a change in diet(not starving but less processed and high fat fooods) or regularly exfoliating can help improve that dramatically<br />
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weight is sumthing that girls are brainwashed by media too fear like its the devils plague, i myself and most guys i have met prefer girls with curves and that sort of thing cos its more femanin... real guy don't like skeletor... ITS A MYTH!!!!<br />
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last point im gonna make is that everyone is their own harshest critic and odds are u are picking up on things that other people didn't notice where there<br />
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as a12 year old girl, yeah its probably gonna be hard and i can't give you some sort of magic potion to make u value yourself but there are things that are beautiful weather you want to accept it or not<br />
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feel free to contact me if u want to discuss further and best of luck to you

Thankyou, and i agree weight indeed is something girls are brainwashed by the media to fear. Media displays such a perfect image, i guess thats why girls are like this. but, im glad to know that i can contact you when id like.

do you consider yourself brainwashed? sad to say guys get it too, it ammuses me to think that all girls want a guy who is painfully ripped. from what i can gather you have plenty of support here if you should need it.

i dont really consider myself brainwashed, i just put myself down quite often. and i know that if i ever want to look at a magazine, it just reminds me even more of my insecurities. and yeah, guys dont have it as bad though. idk. Society is just so messed up, you feel me?

well unfortunatly magazines are filled with photoshopped people, its not sumthing to compare to. i get it that you have low self esteem issues but there has to be some things that you like, people always forcus on what they don't have as opposed to what they do. society does and will always be a messed up deceitful, unrealistic façade. im sorry that your feeling this way cos i remember having your views and its really uncomfortable not feeling ok in your own skin :/

Yea, comparing to magazines isnt always the best thing. I guess theres something i could like about myself, but im very picky. im a harsh critic on myself. And i most definetely pick up things that most people dont, but it still doesnt change the fact that i notice it. Society is sooo messed up, i wish i grew up in the 80s ! But, hopefully i'll get better. I kind of have been over the days, so thankyou.

everyone is their own harshest critic, thats normal... its kinda like how other peoples problems are easier to solve due to lack of personal involvement.
why do you think the 80's would suit you? it would just be a different image to conform to. im glad things appear to be on the mend. can you tell me what things you do like about yourself?

3 More Responses

Thank you for sharing your story. You are beautiful! Remember that everyone has qualities that make them unique and pretty unto themselves. I understand what you are going through, when I was 14 year old I was almost 200 lbs, and I had acne on my chest, back, and face. I know it's difficult to think about, but things will change. As you get older, your body will lengthen grow. Ride the wave of growth. That is what I did and it worked for me. I am 25 years old now,128lbs and with very little acne. Though I still have to deal with it from time to time. If your parents let you, in the morning or sometime when you can, run once or twice up and down your block and then stretch, or fast walk with some light weights if you hate running. I began to exercise and that's really all it took. Not only will it help manage weight, but it can help manage those emotions too because just 15 minutes of exercise gives your body these cool things called endorphins that help make you happy. Anyway. No matter what, be yourself, and remind yourself that no one is perfect. You ARE beautiful just the way you are. Good luck girl!

Thankyou , you're comment was much appreciated!

Whoa girl! I wish I could just give you a big hug! I am quite a bit older than you (43) but I remember being that age and it did suck. And it seems like today with all the media and what is considered beautiful, I can see how girls struggle with self image! I struggle with self image as well. I see however there are two choices. You can either do something about it or do nothing and let it consume you. If its the acne then there are so many advances in the medical field that you could easily get a handle on the acne. The weight thing is sometimes easy for some and they are born with great genetics. Some people have to work hard at it. Excercize is the solution to that but it is not easy and takes hard work. But if you want to do something about your self image then it's a place to start. What you eat is also a part of this solution and possible a contributor to your acne but only a doctor can fully assess that.<br />
You seem to be too young to have stretch marks but they are usually due to gaining weight too fast. I have stretch marks on my breasts from pregnancy. I also have some on my thighs and inner legs too all due to pregnancy and gaining too much weight too fast. There is nothing I can do about them though. <br />
My point and advice is to really think about what is making you unhappy about yourself and try to break it down to manageable solutions. For instance the weight thing - excercize. Find an excercize program that you can live with. At your age it can very well be an activity you enjoy. Maybe tennis or swimming is your thing? Dancing? Yoga is great for your body to tighten and also your mind as well! I can also say if you are active at a young age and stay active like in a<br />
sport that it will definitely be a huge help for you as an adult! Just find something you love and it will benefit you physically as well as help you to focus and keep you distracted from the negative that you find consuming you right now. <br />
Ok wanna talk hair? My arms are so hairy I have to shave them! I could literally lift it up with in between my fingers and cut it. Thanks to my French Canadian heritage! And yup I have hair that grows on my toes too! I just hit it with a razor when I shave my legs. You can get laser and not deal with the shaving but you might be too young and it is very costly. But really the hair on the toes if you think about it is not such a big deal. What you could do is list all the things you hate about yourself and individually try to find solutions rather than think "I hate my life". Or "my life just sucks".<br />
Counseling is not such a bad thing either. Sometimes (and myself included) its very helpful to not get so overwhelmed with your problems that you can't seem to find a way out. If you are thinking suicide I would get in to a counselor or therapist pronto. You may just have a hormone issue or even a physical issue that could easily be treated and addressed that is preventing you from seeing how to handle these issues. I am not trying to sound like a know it all by no means. Just speaking from life experience and can totally understand how life sometimes seems very overwhelming and depressing. And you probably don't want to hear this but - for chrissake you are almost only 13 and have your whole life ahead of you! <br />
I wish you well and hope you take some of my advice. The counseling at least. Just remember you and only you are responsible for your own destiny. Some people are born gorgeous and we all secretly hate them- lol but we are all responsible for the cards we are dealt with and what we do with the life we are given.

Thankyou so much for taking your time to read my story and make a response like that. I dont think id ever follow through with suicide, i think its just suicidal thoughts. But, i agree fully with the media &amp; their ideal thought of beauty. Society has changed over the years, i wish i were born back in the 80's or something of that sort! Society is quite indeed messed up, but i loved your message. Thankyou so much.

I'm 14 And I Understand Where You Come From. I'm Here For You If You Want To Talk. You Are Beautiful No Matter What Anyone Says.

just by reading '' im here for you '' is already great. Thankyou so much, glad to know someone understands