One Of The Hardest Things Owing A Pet Is Seeing Them Age Quicker Then You

if their was something to take that curse away I would find it.   If I won $70million tonight in lotto I would find a youth pill for my cat.  no one knows my sadness watching her grow old, I can't find the words or strength to deal with it. 

its painful to watch yet I love her so much... the sadness in me can't be filled by anything. 

their is just no words that can express it. 

I just wish I could die with her ... life means nothing ... it has no meaning anymore... 

there is no enjoyment ... I can't cope with her growing old ... 

I can't cope with her dying ... I guess mooshy and snug and mia will have an important job to help me cope. 

I hate live ... 
czaristacrystals czaristacrystals
36-40, F
3 Responses May 8, 2012 <br />
I don't think I have had a cat like Sabi... I was reluctant to get a female cat for many many years a good 15 years past since my female cat Clara in 1975 when the greyhounds attacked her little new born kittens ... it was painful for her and me... I cried for days over that and it traumatized me as a child...seeing that event. that is when I hated dogs and had a fear for them. I realized how fragile kittens were.<br />
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those bloody mongrel dogs ... how I hated them ... and wondering what happened to Clara ... did they use her for the greyhound blood track ... I will never know what happened to her ... she was a beautiful cat... I never got to say goodbye to her I was only a little girl and very upset over those bloody greyhounds killing her little kittens.<br />
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when tessa came along and then Sabi.... <br />
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Sabi was so special to me... she was like my cat... she cuddled with me at night and sat on my lap or mums ... <br />
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I waited a lot time for an amazing girl like her ... and now seeing her getting old is so hard... <br />
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I held her before and cried ... I have to be careful not to upset her she hates me crying ... and she gets upset... but she is getting so old now she just sits and frailly and painfully just looks up at me ... with knowing eyes ... she knows she is frail and older now... she cringes at times ... like a fearful beaten cat. <br />
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I find it so hard ... <br />
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sometimes all I want to do is hold her ... I am so ill at the moment with my migraine and its hard for me to sit up ...

I often go into her lately and cry holding her... knowing our time is so limited.<br />
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she is frail.... like my mind these days... <br />
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I don't know how I will be able to live when she is gone... I don't want to live...<br />
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all I can do is make her life a bit comfortable ... that is all.

I gave her a tablet tonight she seemed to wobble a bit and I worry but mum said ...well she just got up from sleeping ...we disturb her sleep to give her the tablet... she is ok.. but I notice... there is nothing I can do... but pray.