Still Trying

I'm still trying to find my purpose.

Thing is I can only stay interested for so long on one thing. Albeit, while i am interested- its extremely intense and i learn everything there is to know about the topic- including diagrams, notes and notes, pages and pages, every conceivable angle. But alas, i always lose interest.

VERY frustrating.

I am going for my ornamental horticulture & landscape design degree- but i'm afraid - in the end- it will be a waste.....

Oh, what to do? My hubby suggested Architechture cuz it covers everything, but what a Phenomenal Waste that would be if i lost interest after that degree!


Enigma Enigma
26-30, F
1 Response Jun 5, 2007

That's a really good question. I wish i knew the answer.<br />
If I think back, most things i have pursued didnt really have competition. Perhaps I need that kind of motivation.<br />
Although there has been the occassion such as school for Certif. Medical Assistant, I consistently had the top grades. I just about aced every exam, and the teachers loved me. After about 9 or 10 months of full time classes I lost interest a bit. --I just couldnt seem to be on time for class, and i studied less.<br />
I still came out with a 3.66 GPA, *** Laude.(Mind you, I did finish the 81 credit hours in 12 months- so i guess thats good. And I passed the certification with flying colors)<br />
But then, after being in the field, it left ALOT to be desired. I had a horrible experience in the work force. One of the other nurses took an instant dislike to me and did her best to sabotage everything i did- especially after the head doctor of the urgent care took a liking to me. Apparently he didnt warm up to very many people- and he was overheard telling another doctor that i was bright and had potential for more.<br />
After that- it was hell going to work, and i guess in the end i sabotaged myself by not being punctual and calling in too much.<br />
I never went back into that field. (there were other issues such as having 4 children and having to work holidays, etc. Which i wasnt accustom to- I had been an Executive Assistant in the auto industry prior to going to school for mdeical. So i was used to lots of holidays, vacation, and about $3 an hour more.)<br />
But I also didnt feel i was making a difference. Most of what i had learned I couldnt use.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I am probably afraid of failing. And I havent really had a chance to be creative or compete with others in a healthy environment.<br />
<br />
I dont know. Any additional insight is greatly welcome.<br />
<br />
Thanks so much for posting. I appreciate it!<br />
<br />
PS- I wish i had the time and money to be a doctor but since i dont- I chose to go into the horticulture field because gardening is a great love of mine and it seemed a relatively good choice. Maybe once i start taking more indepth classes I'll find the biology more facinating and go for the MD or DO but I'm really afraid of all that schooling, time, and effort and then the posssibility of hating the field. Besides, I'm not getting any younger, do i really want to spend the next, hmm 6-8 yrs in school?

I've had a rocky go of it in regards to choosing a career too. I was a graphic designer, web developer, marketing production. I learned a little more about myself with every job. I finally felt like I needed a career that made me proud of what I was doing and that I needed feel like I was helping people. Of course, I also had to do it on the cheap. I went to nursing school. After the first semester, I was able to work as a care tech. Didn't love it, but got me through school. About a year and a half ago I became a nurse. I have to say that during the first year, I must have come close to quitting a gazillion times!!! But I stuck with it for the prn scheduling option (24 hours a month.) I went prn back in october and it's the BEST thing I've done. One environment doesn't speak for the whole field. Especially in nursing. I've stuck with this field because there are SO MANY OPTIONS, whithout having to repeatedly start over by incurring more debt for degrees where your life experience doesn't count. My experience is that if you can pick a general field that you can COMMIT to then you can move around within it until you find the right fit. I'm a bedside RN now at a hospital, but once my son is in school, I'll pursue my BSN in order to have more leadership opportunities and possibly become an FNP. An FNP is like a doctor only with better outcomes and more cost effective, so this is why I suggest it =) You can decide which level to stop at, while still forwarding yourself in your career. For what it's worth...