Life Is a Struggle

When my partner of 4 yrs left me I really hit rock bottom. I began taking drugs, having meaningless sexual relationships, in most cases with men I didnt know. I left my child with family at every chance so I could go out searching for something or some one to make me feel right again... I have been home every night for a month now, its not always where I wanna be thats for sure.. I get lonely and I feel lost, but this is where I am better off, being a parent will be what saves me from my self.. And this is some thing I have to keep telling myself over and over
Leith Leith
22-25, F
3 Responses Apr 16, 2007

Try being aware of the feelings when you are home, the ones you partied not to feel. Then they pass and you can find yourself again.

I hope ....that I will love again.<br />
NO need to hurt myself and others, no need to ask a reason way?<br />
WIll be no meaning to find lovers if I was loving just a gay.<br />
ANd if that gay is empty heart , it is a mind with no believs, It is an eye that doesn't see I am alife and wish my death, I will may die for him.<br />
I win my life folling in love again . Love is a gift that if it is refused will go in a second and will never turn back to you.

i can relate to some of your story. when my 2nd marriage fell apart, i didn't do drugs, but i sure hit the booze and went out to bars and had meaningless sex as well and with much younger men than myself. i think my self esteem needed a boost, but where does it get us?? im happy your at home being the best mom you know how to be. but don't forget to take time out for youself.<br />
god bless