I Struggle With Thinking of Myself As 'pretty'
I hate the way I look ever since I was ...maybe...10...I couldn't stand one moment looking at myself in mirrors. I avoid all shiny objects that reflects light. My self confidence became so low that it affects my whole life. I stop volunteering to get involved in activities in school. I stop going out with friends because they love to compare about looks, which I hate!!!! I lost all confidence in myself because of my extremely ugly looks. You may think this is a small problem but it gives me unsurmountable hurt and anger. I kept asking god..." Why in this one life that i have, you have to put my soul into this ugly case?" And every year my birthday wish is to be a lil bit prettier. I will cry for days sometimes because I felt so ugly... Once, I heard two senior girls in school talking to each other in the toilet. They didnt realise I was in there, washing my hands. And guess what, I heard them calling me ugly! I could feel my throat tighten and tears started leaking out of my eyes. Since then, I knew I was really really UGLY. I could do nothing about my hideous looks. I hate buying new clothes, shoes...etc...because with my ugly face, i will look uglu even in the most prettiest thing. I have suffered a lot in silence because of my looks.