Pretty?

For the past 6 years, i have been struggling with thinking of myself as 'pretty' when i look in the mirror i see myself and i go ew. It's been even worse lately because my boyfriend wont answer my calls, wont return my calls, and when i do finally talk to him, he blames me for all of his problems, even though i never see him. don't get me wrong, he's my best friend and i still love him, just not the way i used to. but that's another story for another day.

People tell me I'm pretty, hot, beautiful, and gorgeous all the time. but no matter how hard i try i can't fully believe them. The only thing i really used to like about myself was my eyes. they are blue, and they change colors anywhere from cerulean, to green, to grey, depending what mood I'm in. Here latley, the only color they have been is a dull, bleak, unpretty, grey.

I wish someone would just love me, and actually mean it. then maybe ill finally feel 'pretty'