In Over My Head.

It has been six years since i met what i thought was the love of my life. Over the course of our relationship i have been cheated on, lied to, emotionally destroyed and degraded to the point that i thought my life was worthless; yet i still stayed. I look back at all the horrible things that this relationship has done to me. I don't blame him because i make the choice to stay. But, i must admit that he makes it very hard to leave. Although this past year with him he has changed for the better i feel as if i do not know how long it will last. I have been no saint in this relationship either as a lot of the fights i have been the one to escalate them. I feel like i need to let go but i cant. It scares me that i can love someone so much. The hardest part about my situation is that i still want forever with him. When we first met i knew what love was he was sweet and romantic and thoughful everything a guy is in the beginning but now i see just a shell of the person that he was. I wish i knew the future i wish i knew that he would be the person he has grown to be now forever. But i dont know i never will unless i decide to stay. Im so confused:(
stephola stephola
22-25, F
2 Responses Nov 27, 2012

You have allowed yourself to be beaten down so much that you no longer have respect for yourself. This is a vicious trap and this is what he wants you to feel. He wants you to think that you need him in order to survive. This is a boy with no self-esteem and degrading you makes him feel like a man. You need to get out. NOW! This will only get worse. To the point, if not already there, of physical abuse. You are better than this and do not let anyone tell you different. Please, get out before you reach the point of no return. One of you is dead.
I wish you the very best and please contact me if you need any help.

Be strong.