I Was Born And Destined To Be Single

i used to think that one day that when i get older that i'll become this successful man who excels at any field of work and when it comes to the ladies that i would be this irresistable man who can get any woman he wants, but when reality kicked in i realised that this thought of me being that man never came into existence, in fact i am quite the opposite of that thought. initially this result me into becoming quite a negative man because all those years i set these high expectations onto myself and since i have hardly met any of these expectations, it really to a stab to my morale and my general outlook on life. now i have learned to gain some of my morale back and i have learned to accept so much that reality has done to me, i have hardened to the truth and realise that childish fantasies are never the case in real life. now back onto the topic. i realised that instead of thinking i was this great man when it came to the opposite gender, i saw that reality was very different. i had very very very badluck with girls and women in general and i still remember the times back in primary school when i had more female bullies than male bullies. this made an impact to my outlook on the other gender and made me more agressive towards them. i still have memories of me being this little guy who was uncoordinated and being picked on my girls, i felt very weak and i still wonder to this day how i survived all those attacks by those girls. then when highschool came i was thrown into an all boys school when there was absolutely zero contact with the female race and this made even more of an impact because when i had a chance to meet a girl my age i had no idea how to interact with her, i didnt know what to say, what to think, and what to do. and because of my inexperience with women during my highschool years, i realised that my luck went to zero percent to a minus percent. i was a total failure when it came to women. after graduating from school (yes school's out) i got the chance to have more and more exposure to the female race, especially since i found a job which i enjoy doing. i still remember being the new guy at this job and  was instantly overwhelmed by the majority of female staff i worked with, plus the amount of female customers i had to serve face to face, i was completely baffled that the ratio of men to women was the opposite of my highschool years. it took me a few years to get better with the female race and as you know it i have improved very very well, i can make a woman laugh, i can have deep conversations with some of them, i can confidently tell her how i am, and i have gone to the point that i can say some crude jokes which will make them laugh till they cant laugh no more, assuming the girl can take these jokes and has a great sense of humour. so thats my story so far and i have to say that since i have become more confident, i let it got in the way a few times, like overchatting to female customers, and even flirting alot even though i didnt see myself flirting. so i have tried a few things to find a girlfriend but i have had zero luck still. i realised that i make a better relationship with a girl when i am 'just friends' with her but once it gets more than just friends, it becomes a totally complex and difficult thing for me. i have to say i have some things that make me happy being single and i can go out and have fun without picking up a single thing. i used to go out solely just to get laid and poke some innocent drunk girl, but now i go out just to get sloshed and have a good time with my mates, whether they are my uni friends, work colleagues, or some highschool friends i still keep in contact with. and my last few times i have gone out, i put in in my head that i ma there just to make a complete *** of myself and just have fun being drunk instead of probing some drunk slutty *****, and no i have actually enjoyed the single life more than ever. plus i have my own hobbies and interests that i enjoy doing but if i was to find a girl, i know that this kind of relationship would impede the fun i get from my own hobbies an interests. and at the moment i plan to visit some prostitutes in the future just to get a bit of experience in case i do find the perfect one, even though i doubt it. so in short, maybe i was born to be single and to enjoy what it takes to be a single man. and to those who beleive the single life is just as good as the coupled life, i say well done and i commend your decisions that you people make when it comes to these decisive moments in our lives. thank you.
jonnyronny jonnyronny
18-21, M
Jul 25, 2010