Made The Same Mistake Again! Hate Myself For It.

I met this guy I really liked recently. We only stated seeing each other (2 weeks) but I was really into him. I wanted him to be my boyfriend so much that I'm afraid that I scared him off.

The problem is that I really like the guy i never have patience to take things slowly. From my experience so far guys need much more time than girls to admit they have feelings for a girl and that they want to be with her. But every time i expect guy to care for me as much as I care for him from the first weeks and it all goes wrong.

Everything with his guy I'm talking about was going very well until one day when we were supposed to meet he called me and said that he has a very bad hungover from a party and that he doesn't feel like going out today. I said that its ok and that i can just come to his house and we can chill and then i'll go home. So he agreed.

I came to his. We had some drinks, had sex and then he goes know i really don't feel well now and I'm very tired and would like to be alone. I think its best if you'll go home now. But instead of like just calmly going home i got really hurt by this and felt used so i made a scene...With me crying, running up and down the road and acting like a childish attention seeker...I guess even tho it was initially me who said that ill go home that night i still hoped that hell let me stay...or at least will walk me to the underground instead of just asking me to leave. Especially as I was about to go away for a month.

Anyway cause i was so drunk and upset i made a complete fool of myself. Reacting as some crazy girlfriend. Expecting him to start calming me down etc. Instead he only got pissed off and we had a massive argument. After all he never said he was serious about me at that point ....and we weren't in a relationship or anything so i had no right really to act all hurt and upset cause he never promised me anything. Basically it ended in him saying that if before there was a hight possibility us having a relationship then now there is none.

I even wrote him an apology email (I'm abroad now hence the email) but he didn't reply. Still going to see him one time cause he's looking after some of my stuff while I'm away but I'm not sure if its going to change anything.

So I ruined everything again over nothing.....true story. Similar situations happened so many times before. The only way i ever had a lasting relationships were times when i wasn't really into a guy.
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Feb 8, 2013