Paranoid About My Anorexic Wife

My wife has been suffering from annorexia for the most part of her life although has only started councelling the past 3-4 months. Alot has emerged from the councelling that she has never talked about. I am really struggling with one major issue. She is posting pictures of herself on facebook continually and getting lots of attention from men on facebook. This is really getting to me. What makes matters worse is that I had suspissions of something going on between her and one of these guys. I looked through her phone to find lucid messages to and from each other including a picture sent to him in her underware and also messages asking him to meet up with her. Reference was also made to what this guy wanted to do to her sexually. In response to me questioning her she said she couldn't explain why she had done it. She felt unloved. Now I am totally paranoid and dont know what to think. I cant help myself. I keep going through her phone and facebook checking up on her. Her councillor says if I dont stop accusing her her illness will get worse and worse. Is this normall? Please help, I'm going out my mind and dont want to loose her.

stewart77 stewart77
31-35, M
2 Responses May 7, 2012

You may feel that way, but remember she has a morbid illness, so is not being sensible.In the end it won't matter so long as she gets well, so forget about it..it is of no account, just a symptom of her mental disease.

I just ran across your post. I was anorexic for 23 years....it started the first year of marriage. I had several affairs but have a wonderful husband who has forgiven and never brings it up. I was in an eating disorder support group and did a lot of soul searching.......came to the conclusion that I was very self absorbed and self centered. The affair occurs because of the fear of intimacy......affairs give a false sense of being loved but there is no closeness. I still struggle to be completely honest and open with my husband....but we work on it and there is no more lying. It takes so much energy to be anorexic.....the root goes deep down and I still struggle to love myself and put others first. The good news is that I have been married 42 years to an angel who loved me more than I can ever tell. I am so glad he stuck with me....we have a wonderful life. He should have dumped me. The eating disorder is gone but is always right below the surface....so, we exercise every day, I take Zoloft and we do volunteer work. An anorexic has to get outside of themselves.

Fantastic to hear what your story teaches , I hope to understand what anorexia means, I have a step son with problems, but so many girls seem to have it...so I read on here..I called it a selfish disease and felt a bit brutal, but from what you say it is pretty true, thank you, and live well & prosper...x