The Darkened Pathway

My problem started in 7th grade. I was in middle school, there weren't people watching your every move, my younger sister was no longer with me to tattle on me. I had basically no friends and most of all I felt like I was the fattest person in the world. I started skipping lunches, then, because everyone was out of the house before me, I"d skip breakfast too. Whenever I could I'd skip dinners, not realizing what I was doing in my ignorence. I just kept driving forward by the thought that I was so freaking fat. It just kept on continuing. By the time 8th grade came around I had friends, they told me to stop but their efforts wasted in vain. for about half a year I did eat quite a bit, I started gaining weight, my friends were finally happy with me, but I wasn't. I saw this as a sign of weakness, that summer I went back to my old ways only worse, my dad was basically never home. Not that he gave a crap about me anyways. I never returned phone calls, I isolated myself and that was it. Throughout the whole thing I thought I had no friends, one of them managed to contact me though, she wanted to hang out. We went out to eat together, she inquired why I was wearing a sweatshirt in June, I simply told her I was cold. She asked me to take it off anyways and I did. She was shocked, apparently I looked sick. I was offended, the only way I looked sick was if I was too fat. She told me I had to stop right now, I just ignored her. I should have heeded her advice but I was not going to, she got help for me instead, I had no choice. I was later admitted to the hospital at 5 foot 5 weighing 95 pounds, not horribly underweight but still. this still did not help me, I am now a sophomore in high school and I still don't have control, nor do I feel like I want it quite yet. I've only grown 2 more inches but I think I"m done growing. my weight is getting lower I just hope nobody notices. right now I"m 5 foot 7 and I weigh 103 pounds and just trying to go down about 5 to 8 pounds. I am so fat I really need to lose this weight

sugarcollie sugarcollie
22-25, F
Mar 20, 2009