I feel so gross when I eat anything, and when I do I have to throw it up, otherwise I feel like I am going to blow up or something. I feel trapped in a never ending circle. My parents don't care at all. They're trying to kick me out of the house despite my being 16 years old. I'm constantly cold. it was 85 degrees today and I was still wearing a sweat shirt. Why am I always so cold? It's hard to get out of bed and then go to swim practice. I feel like I'm drowning when I swim now. when I go for runs my knees hurt really bad from the impact. Sometimes I pass out in random places. I hate myself more than anything, I hate doing this to my self but I also live for it. I hate the fact that I stand at 5 foot 8 and weigh 105. I like the feeling of emptiness in my stomach. I hate the fat that is everywhere. but I love the feeling of power when my stomach is empty.