My Experience With Anxiety

T here is a strong history of anxiety in my family.  It seems especially bad for my aunt Cindy.  I have a vivid memory of her lying on her back during on Christmas trying to concentrate on calming down because she was having trouble breathing.  I was about eleven at the time, and I remember trying to tell her that I knew what it felt like too.  I've always had trouble breathing normally if I thought too hard about it.  Everyone shushed me and shuffled me out of the room of course.  What could a child know about anxiety? 

Here I am ten years later suffering from full blown anxiety attacks.  It started very mildly actually.  I'd be sitting down, doing something calm, and find my heart racing for no reason at all.  It wasn't bad enough to be seriously frightened, but still a bit disturbing.  Things only got worse from there, ranging from a strong feeling that my throat was closing up, to serious heart palpitations that shook my whole torso.  The first thing a person thinks when having an attack is "oh my god, I'm going to die".  You actually literally feel like you're going to die.  Of course that makes you freak out even more, and the symptoms escalate. 

I have been to the doctor seeking help multiple times, but the only help I was ever offered was pills.  Pills, pills and more pills.  I can't stress enough how reluctant I was to try this method, but finally I did end up trying.  My problem is that I can't swallow pills though, so I tried and failed.  I become resolved to fight this on my own strength.  I'm to the point now where I can feel a heart palpitation coming on.  It's an extremely sick deathly feeling, and then I feel the beginnings of a pounding heartbeat in my chest.  My way of coping is to lay down on my back (preferrably on the floor) with a pillow under my head, and breath in through my nose slowly for 8, out through my mouth slowly for 5.  While doing this, I keep reminding myself mentally that this has happened before, and I'm still alive, so I'm going to be just fine.  Within two times of doing this, I normally feel better, but I usually keep doing it until my nerves have totally calmed.  Then get up slowly. 

I've also found that when I don't get enough sleep, anxiety symptoms are much more likely to happen than if I had gotten a full eight hours.  I also find that eating a healthy, balanced diet and getting plenty of excersise helps.  I also have to find ways to deal with stress.  Caring for my two cats and pet fish is one way for me to keep busy and focus on something other than myself.  Also I plan out my weeks very carefully when I know I'm approaching a busy time, so that I know what needs to be done and when it needs to be done by.  All this helps reduce stress, therefore reducing anxiety symptoms. 

My dad also suffers from anxiety, and he did end up going the pill route.  He said it actually did help him greatly for a time.  However, he's been on them for a few years now, and feels that they don't do much to help anymore.  Prescriptions are also very expensive when used in an on-going manner.  He wants to quit the pills, but when he doesn't take them, he gets symptoms called "brain-shimmers".  He describes them as an almost-dizzy feeling that just hurts and makes you feel very sick.  His body has gotten so used to having those extra chemicals regulating his mood that it's almost impossible for him to function without them.  For this reason I would suggest pills only as a very last resort to easing anxiety. 

If I can fight it on my own, you can too!  I just hope that my experience can help someone else, and anyone suffering from anxiety can feel free to message me for mutual support.  :)