Life At The Best Of Worst Times

Have you ever loved your job so much that you jump up and get ready before you alarm clock goes off? Well, I wish i could, people don't understand that it is not that you don't want to wake up but rather your body is physically unable to get out of bed even though the mind is ready. I love my job I love being here early if at all possible, but the chronic pain of fibromialgia is like a boat anchor stopping me dead in my tracks before i am able to haul it in and recover from the strain, yet even after you  are left with a long agonizing pain of over exerting yourself. I have to work! everything i have depends on working and making that paycheck so i cant just stay at home i have to go out over do it and suffer severely every single day just trying to lead a normal life. Fibromialgia runs in one side my family which can be a good thing because you have a person who can relate and actually understand whats going on. A long line of substance abuse (alchohal, drugs ,pills etc...) also runs through another side of my family, they cannot relate to my chronic pain so the automatically assume that its all in my head and i do not need my medications. Truth is though i am dependent on antidepressants sleeping pills and pain killers to make my quality of life a bit more manageable. Doc says find a hobby and stick with it, it will help but anymore i cant go fishing as often because im so sore  from work all i really want to do is relax. My girlfriend is very understanding she does alot of research to hopefully help and relate with me on my realy bad  days, I LOVE that woman shes defiantly a keeper for putting fourth the effort and trying to help me enjoy the rest of our lives together! But any how... every day with chronic pain is an uphill climb, my questions is when am i ever going to get to the top and take the easy way down the other side. Im only 20 and my body feel as if it where in it 60's 
Samuel23 Samuel23
18-21, M
2 Responses May 7, 2012

guys I am so sorry!!!! I live in pain every day and really understand what your going through, but y'all are so young and that breaks my heart.I have become homebound very few outings, yet I still get up o go to work, morning are the hardest, no you don't learn to deal with this. Good luck and God bless.

Thank you!

good luck, and I meant I get up to go to work but I can't any more, no longer mobile. smiles

I couldn't have said it Amy better! I truly understand! I loved my career so much! I was doing so well! Success under way! Mind into it, body holinge back! I couldn't believe I'd ever give intoy pain.. It's been about 10 weeks I've been off, I'm waiting for surgery, but most likely will need to change careers. It's bad enough ive lost all of the things I enjoy, relationships etc at such a young age, and then my career my passion.. It's financially impossible, how I manage I don't know.. I go insane every day missing it! I hate what this disease has done to me, and to others. Unfortunately there's no cure. For us to be sentenced to a life time of pain seems unreasonable to say the least!