It's Not Something That I Chose To Have

I know you can't chose to have chronic pain or not, but others can chose who to give the throbbing pain to. Sometimes I think that it would be easier to be dead than to live a life in pain. Suffer becuase someboody chose for you to suffer. I wish there was a way to transfer the pain into the person that gave it. I would make sure they screamed in pain, couldn't move, got woken up in the middle of the night aching. I would make sure they got what they gave me. People telling them that they will never be able to do what they love agian. They can't sleep with any pillow they want at night. They have to sleep with a neck temperpedic pillow, or even if they just want to lay down they have to have it under their neck to run away from the screaming pain that srkies within you. They should have been the ones who had to hear the doctor say "Disability" to them. Not me! But, I guess sometimes we can't chose what we have or what we don't have.