At Last

On Friday last week I finally accepted that I needed help & went to the Doctors..I explained all about my wife leaving & how I was feeling/coping (wasn't) in fact I broke down in tears & told him the truth I had thoughts of suicide..
Been battling it for last 8 months & always hid behind this fa├žade of being the joker & life n soul of any gathering but inside I was weeping..
Glad I did now as it explains a lot of things about my behaviour of late & now I am on meds I can start to get better & sort thing out..
Think it was the stigma associated with mental health but lately there has been a big ad campaign launched here in Scotland so its serendipitous in a way that I choose to go when I did.
Told my tutor also & he was fantastic about it..
No idea what the future holds apart from optimism for this year.Know its going to a struggle but I aim to get better & if possible help others along the way...
oscarrr2 oscarrr2 46-50, M 12 Responses Jan 10, 2012

Your Response


If you ever need to talk, I will listen. I've been there, done that.

I hope you are better now.

Truth spoken....Yes. To help others is the best medication in the world. Combined with connection to nature, it may have a healing effect . Hope you are way better by now. One day at a time, keep my fingers crossed.

I think you are much stronger than you realize....take life one day at a time and grow a little stronger each day.

Thanks CP for taking the time to read my story..I am a lot better now thank you & although I have crappy days so do we all.XXX

Way to go! Getting help for oneself is hard- you should be deeply applauded!

Hello Oscar;

I am so glad to hear that you have secured a job as a chef; how exciting; I love to cook and would love to go to culinary college; congratulations on your job.

Hope each day finds you with more hope for happiness, stronger and more determined to deal with the source of depression and heaviness and that you are doing even better; a month after your last comment here on yours story.

Peace to you!

Having read your story, and noticed the posting date, I was curious to know how you are now. Better, I hope?

Well I had a mini break down about or so ago & took a break from everything apart from college as I had massive support there & still do.
Managed to secure a job as a chef in a hotel here on the island & as I love to cook I am happier than a pig in the proverbial now..
I am not taking any meds as I feel they where causing a lot of my problems but they do help some people so not knocking them..
Its just one day at a time & hoping for a better future but being realistic with my goals as well & asking for help when I require it.Thanks for reading & asking friend.XXX

i have just had a break down and been diagnosed with depression. i was always the one that everyone said could handle anything and yet here i am a babbling mess. i can not see a way forward from here and feel so worthless. i have just found a old school friend and would like to strike up a relationship with her but how wont's to be with someone that can not support them. i have had many stressful things in my life as of late and all i did was ring a old friend up and the second i herd her voice it set me off as she was there when i was sexually abused as a child. i thought i had dealt with this but all the stresses on me and hearing that voice on the phone just brought it all back. i admitted my depression right away after having the breakdown but in truth i think it has been coming for years as i have suffered a lot of medical issues that are now all explained. i know how you feel and in a effort to try and be the strong person i always have been i keep telling myself to just put one foot in front of the other because tomorrow will be better. you are not alone and nether am i.

I'm really surprised to read this, you do not sound depressed to me when reading your comments or posts etc... which clearly shows that you are getting better! But I'm sorry to hear about this, I'm sure the future has better surprises for you because, well, you sound pretty strong and only strong people are able to get themselves out of depression and look for a better life! All the best. :)

Aw cheers hon.Yeah I am feeling better & try to take care of myself via healthy eating & exercise.I am fortunate that I live on a wonderful island out in the sticks , grow my own food & having a couple of dogs means you have no choice but to get up & out several times a day..I refuse to surrender to it & know that I will beat it in fat I am already doing so.XX

Good for you. you made an important step. I have been off of antidepressants for 13 years now. There is a lot of help out there noe and the stigma associated with mental health is much less than it was, we still have a long way to go and having people like yourself speak out is wonderful!

All the best for a new outlook for the new year.

Many thanks hon, feeling so much better just by taking the 1st step.XX

Getting help is the most important thing. Next is staying on meds /in therapy when you feel all better and dont think you need then any more.

Hi , well the meds are a really low dose but appear to be helping , no intention of staying on them long term , exercise also helps so I run a few times a week , play sports & walk my mutz.XX

There are only so many things that we can deal with on our own. The rest we have to trust in others to give us the information/help that is often very hard to ask for.

I hope you always have brighter days to come!

Thanks Joanie.Only way is up for me now.XXX

Your so very Welcome! I wish you much hope and joy in your new found upward mobility. Depression is a very hard thing to get away from once it has you in it clutches. I know, I've been there. May you have many friends who fill you enough joy to keep out of the deeps! hey Is that a Scottish toast?