I Know Me Better Than A Doctor.

I've been depressed for about 4 years now and I refuse to take anti-depressants.

I'm posting this not to stop others but to open peoples eyes to other ways of helping. before i say anything more i want to explain to people that depression is not entirely medical there is a major psychological part as well. As you may or may not know with depression there is a problem between the creation and detection of serotonin in the brain. It is not known whether the depression causes this or this causes depression however the drugs fix the problem.
This is where my refusal to take medication comes from.
After leaving the doctors office with a prescription i was sat at home thinking about what i had just been told, there was something wrong with my brain that these pills would fix. But i didn't feel like i needed to be fixed, i didn't feel like there was something wrong with me, i just felt... nothing really. I know i only experience a mild form of depression but it seems that doctors just throw these pills at people and say 'there you go, get on with it'. I wanted to sort my problems myself.
During the next year i tried talking with friends, talking with family, exercising, meditating, self hypnosis, and lots of other things, nothing seemed to work for good.
Then i found what i needed, in all the time i had been surrounded i'd been hounded, pressured, stressed out and bombarded by people. people people people, i knew what i needed to change, i needed to get away from people, i didn't mean go outside, i meant leave everyone, so i got on my bike and headed for the nearest woodland. when i got there i sat down on the grass and just listened... i heard silence, there were no cars, no people, no TV's no radios, nothing, just the wind and the odd bird song, it was bliss. i looked into myself and i didn't feel the nothing i had all year, i felt happy, for the first time in a year i felt happy, there was no stress, no pressure just contentment. i sat there listening for an hour before i decided to head home and for the past three years i make sure i get away from everything as often as i can. it relaxes me, distresses me and makes life livable, i'm now in a happy relationship and i've not once touched medication. sometimes things get to me still and i start creeping back to the nothingness but it all melts away when i get away from everyone.

I wrote this because i want people to know that pills are sometimes necessary, and sometimes not, don't get the pills and think that they will solve everything. try other things, maybe you need to get away too, or maybe meditation will help you, maybe a hobby or exercise, try something, don't let the pills run your life, take your life into your hands and find your way through.
But please, what ever you do, DO NOT STOP TAKING MEDICATION BEFORE CONSULTING A DOCTOR! depression is a nasty beast that at best makes you feel down, at worst can cause you to harm yourself or others, think about what your doing before jumping in the deep end, pills are like life preservers, if your in shallow water, they help, if your in deep water, they keep you alive.
Find your own solution.
naturalenglish naturalenglish
4 Responses Aug 17, 2010

Yes, I think pills aren't the answer. Doctors just want you on their subsc<x>ription presc<x>riptions, so they have a steady income from the big Pharma companies. Try Vitamin D (talk to a Naturopathic Doctor) - it stopped a lot of the symptoms I had, which was pretty severe depression.

so far, not much, but i'm starting cognitive behavioural therapy soon and i'm going to give it a shot... i'm a creative person so to cope with the really hard times i throw my anguish and depression into my work (i'm a musician, i find it helps). it's not a life saving technique though really, it's a temporary relief measure for me.

the thought of life dependant on pills scares me, i don't want that.<br />
I hope the other ways are working. have you found anything that works for you?

thank you for sharing your story. i believe there are other ways to deal with this illness and i'm trying a few out myself. medication made me suicidal and stopped working for me. i'm not going back to that.