Perfect Life

I never had a friend until I was in the 4th grade, and not close to that person until the 6th grade. Most people, it seems, daydream about getting married, a boyfriend, sex, but I have always dreamed about being the hero. When I was little, I was a power-ranger, saving the world from evil, and I had friends. People who looked to me for help, just hung out, or made me laugh. It changed when I got into school. I had three "friends" abandon me for cooler people. So I started to write.

I remember how it started. I found these wierd little objects at my house and started to write about a girl with magic. Of course, I was only in the 1st grade, so you can imagine how the story went. In my head, however, the story was as elaborate as any of the movies I had watched. People on here have mostly said how much of a distraction it is from making real friends. For me, it was just the opposite.

I started making characters for people in my classes that I was closer to. Remember how I said that I made friends in the 4th grade? She was very intrigued when I told her she was a character in my story. I was first talking to her about the story, then about me, then about her. We became friends. I was so happy, that I quit daydreaming for almost a year.

Then something happened. As many have recalled, music was a trigger for their maladaptive daydreaming. For me it was different television shows. I met with what is called Anime, in this case Naruto. If you have ever watched the show, you will eventually see how negative the show was. As a counterpoint to the achievement of making friends by stories. They became rather disturbing. They began to brim with blood and gore. It had to show what kind of psychological state I was in, because I began to be depressed. I let them run my life. With such a active imagination, I am a very persuasive person and liar. The friends that I had made I pulled down into my pool of depression. I remember going straight into my room and laying on the bed, daydreaming about what I would be if I were a ninja (which is what the show was about) for hours. My mom threatened to take me to a shrink.

I met a friend, though, that was the biggest ball of sunshine you will ever see. I realized how the show was effecting me (and my vivid imagination) so I threw away the stories I had written and cleared my mind.

High School has provided me with a new range of daydreams. Guys are no longer just friends to me. I began to worry if the visions I had were wierd. It was difficult when I started driving, because playing music was distracting me. I looked up different disorders to see if any of them matched. Maladaptive dreaming seemed to fit the all my symptoms. Even my parents agree. I don't find it so much a challenge anymore, though. Its actually pretty great! I have the best ideas for stories all the time! I have won writing contests and have used it to my advantage. I have a whole lifetime ahead of me, and you can count on the fact that I am seeing it pretty clearly.
AlfredsBurger AlfredsBurger
1 Response Jun 25, 2011

That's great that you've embraced this into your life! I have centered my life career into creating these fantasy worlds into video games and animations. I notice a lot of people are really depressed having this problem, and sometimes I see it as a bad issue too, but most the time, when I'm daydreaming I'm having a great time, and it inspires me to do a lot more with my art skills and the such.<br />
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I used to pretend to be a ninja too, after watching naruto haha... though I always tend to like the badguys more, so most of my fantasy characters are evil and sadistic, I've begin to wonder if that makes me a bad person myself.