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Life Inside My Head!

I have been daydreaming from before I can remember, I mean probably when I first started school at 4/5 if not before that. I am now 20 years old and in university. Its like a entire movie/novel and it has been the same story on going from ever since. As I get older and understand life more, fall in love and travel this main character does all those things with me, but everything in her world is perfect and more elaborate. I know what her face looks like, I have created an entire world around her, she has a single mom, her dad abandened her, she has one sister. I have an exact name for her, her birthday.. I mean its to the point where when its her birthday in real life she celebrates it inside my head, the plot gets very detailed. She has been through different relationships, at the moment she is with my dream boyfriend.She basically went from rags to riches and now she is the big superstar. She basically done all the things I would like to do, and she's very beautiful, filthy rich and wild. I myself is only inside this world when she meets me and treats me somewhat of a charity case lol.

I try to figure out the link between myself and this girl and its I find it maybe because I try to be the too perfect, I am a perfectionist and this is impossible to acheive in reality so I live it inside my mind. I feel like i cant really control how things happen in reality but i have full control over what happens in my head. I think it might also be the media's idea of perfect as my daydreaming is triggered by movies, some reality tv shows, music..there are guest appearances from celebs in my plot.. Also by things that happen in my life and the people around me. I will sit around and create this story for hours a day. I will finish a task just to get back to daydreaming. I can clearly differenciate between reality and my dream world but sometimes when the characters cry I cry or get really depressed.. Sometime when I am depressed i express this in the plot and kind of let out my feelings in the characters. As I am writing this I realise how weird this sounds.

I dont think I am crazy, I get very good grades in school, but now especially at university I drift off into this dream world because lectures are not interactive and I am just sitting there for an hour, I haveto try really hard to focus, and sometimes I just give in. this happens in church also, or whenever I am doing nothing for a while. I haveto make up for this by alot of self study, which takes alot of focus. I do good but I think I can be greater if i can control my daydreaming more. Sometimes i dont even want to go out because i rather daydream, and I have friends but i am not the most sociable. Otherwise this doesnt really affect me. Its glad to know that there are others like me. I will stop here because this is getting too much to read, but I just wanted to share my story.

Thanks for reading x

and please respond if you can relate, I would like to get to know other daydreamers like myself.. :D
imaddicted imaddicted 18-21, F 23 Responses Aug 26, 2012

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I feel the same way! It feels so good to know that there is someone else like me. Even I cry when something sad happens in my mind world. Then if someone catches me at it I have to pretend that it was something in the real world that made me sad. I mouth the dialogue of the characters in my head with a lot of expression and emotion . So chances are I look like a crazy person talking to myself. But I'm very careful to be alone when I do this. But its gotten to the point that I've become rather introverted since I prefer my mind movie over boring real life things. It never used to be a huge problem but now I'm facing my MD exams in a month and this mind world is taking away a lot of my focus and concentration.

I never thought this could be a disorder until I saw a definition. I escape into my head just
Like going into another room. The minute I am in my car driving, drifting off to sleep of alone with my thoughts I go to dream land.

I have built hotels, resorts, private island all in my dream. I calculate payroll, employee retention plan, menus, decorations all one head.

At work I focus and switch to work mode, at home I fully function and interact, socially I engage and relate but as soon ax I have a moment I'm gone.

It is fun, it's consuming, it's OCDish... It's a happy place it's, fascinating but it worried me. I'm 43 and have been going it do long at least 20 years.

Oh wow time flies, started this thread when i was 20 now I am 22 going 23. Anyways thanks for brining my attention back to it. Graduated uni and working now. Being as my job doesnt require much thinking I am daydreaming pretty much all day at work. Not sure this is healthy for building relationships because sometimes I will rather be alone so noone distracts me while I am daydreaming. Needless to say the plot of my story completely changed, same main characters but few changes. It seems you shouldnt have a lot to worry about since you can separate your dream from real life at work or home, i wish i had more control. all the best with everything :)

Hey there. I understand what your going through. The reason I read this was because the heading said "life inside my head" which is exactly how I feel. I have one major story I developed and then like a few minor ones. T.V triggers a lot. Like if I see something sad happening to someone I become them and I live through things. And if I'm watching a talk show with a celeb guest I very often go into my fake- life where I'm famous and that person is interviewing me. My main story is very detailed and I've got birthdays for everyone ect. It goes on for like twenty years and like when I'm sad I go to a sad scene and I live it. I guess in a way it's kinda like entertainment.... that your addicted to. Like very powerful drugs. I admit my favourite part of the day is being in my "day dreams". I only found the name for this yesterday. Please read my story?

It ruins my productivity or task. I would lay down on my bed for hours daydreaming doing nothing looking up the ceiling or wall.

I too can perfectly relate to this!
I've read a lot here and i think what we should is first accept that our lives are beautiful and we are amazing in our own little ways
This will help us stop making imaginary characters in our minds who are well .. 'perfect'

Also, i think i suffer from this problem because i try to control things in my life and when things go wrong in real life, i make up a situation in my head about how i overcame the odds :s

Anyway here's something that i've been trying for a few days with mixed results, Its pretty easy
you have to sit cross legged, keep your back straight, shut your eyes and picture nothing but a little flame flickering in a dark room and concentrate on that

It helps to boost your concentration
..just something worth trying i mean its easier than popping pills
also there are other yoga asanas that one can do to improve focus in order to 'live in the present'

:)

I think I have this problem because i try to control things in my life too. I make plans so far in advance and gets annoyed when they get change. I will actually sit around and alter my plans if changes come up. And when I say alter I mean figuring out different ways to get the same end results at that same time point, its hard for me to change my mind once I make a solid plan.

If i am not in complete control I dont feel right. In my mind i can control these people I am the director of their life and only i can get in the way.. I think that calms me and that may be one of the reasons why I daydream.

But that flame in the dark idea is worth a try, I will let you know how it goes, thanks

ohmigod, your story is so similar to mine! I've dreamt pretty much the same character for the last 5 years (she was a girl who was bullied at school, a perfectionist, becomes a famous celebrity etc.) for the same reasons (I'm not the most sociable person, I want things to be perfect, and I wish my life was better).

You don't understand how much it means to read a similar story, I only just found out today that my daydreaming actually has a name. I don't know how to feel about that because on one hand it means I'm not alone but on the other hand it means I actually have a problem.

I'm 16 now, and this sounds really weird but I feel like we're really similar (you talked about getting good grades and having to work mainly at home because you daydream in school and that's exactly like me).

Anyway, I was just wondering how you deal with it? Thanks, any response would be much appreciated :-)

Hey how are doing, sorry i did not reply sooner final year at uni so i have been so busy. Actually find that beening busy, like doing something active helps my daydreaming. I am in the labs alot doing experiments for the past 7 weeks and by the time i get home I have so much to do to prepare for the next day so i do not have time to sit around and dream.

I have no means of dealing with it, if i do have time to daydream I will relax and go off but when I am in school i just haveto try really hard to focus on my lectures. What I haveto do now is repeat what they are saying in my mind to keep my mind occupied and to focus but as you can imagine that does not last 20 minutes esp. if the lecturer is the boring type.

To what extent does your daydreaming affect your life? Mine makes me antisocial at times because I'd rather dream or it distract me from paying attenion but otherwise i dont think its too damaging or maybe I just learnt to accept it. I remember my friend wanted to take the bus with me to school in the mornings and she would be like text me at the busstop and i would purposely ignore her just because I rather have my bus ride to daydream than to socialise with her.. a bit sad really lol.

Let me know how you are doing and do not feel bad about it, clearly you know now you are not alone :)

Thank you so much for replying. Right now my MD is dreadful, I can't just switch it off when I want to so sometimes I'll be daydreaming in class, then I'll catch myself and stop but a couple of minutes later I'll have started again but I'll try what you say about repeating it. I still feel kind of bad about it because I daydream a lot about someone who is really popular and social which makes up for my lack of a social life. But sometimes I think that it's my constant daydreaming that makes me unsociable, so it's like a positive feedback mechanism. :(

Thanks for the reply anyway, it's nice to talk to someone about this.

This forum helped me alot, because I thought I was just weird and alone. But now that I understand other people have the same problem I don't feel so bad. Even so it still disrupts my activities at times, on the bright side it helps me fall asleep, if I have nothing going on in my mind I cant sleep but once I am in the comfort of my MD world the sleep happens because i am more relaxed. With exams coming up it will take alooooot of focus. I wish i could just swtch it off too, and switch it back on in my free time.

I hope all goes well for you :)

I agree, I do feel like I daydream because I am not satisfied with my life. I am not sure any professional help can change me unfortunately, someone would have to programme my mind differently. I day dream about all kind of splendid thing, these people have lives that mine can never be! I do need to stop and just enjoy my own life.. but my own life is boring compared, I have this expectation in my had that real world can never live up to. I think it actually makes me feel less about myself too.. because the 'girl' the main character is perfect! .. I dont want to go into details right now! but you are right

Hi I also daydream for endless hours, I think it's an adiction cuz wer not satisfied with our own lives, daydreaming can make you feel so good because were in control of it and make it in to our own story..bit when we stop or finish story we feel like crap again.. However mentally it does mess with your head cuz were trying to live fake life in the head and we got real life.. I have been doing it since I was child.. Instead of growing out of it we drag it on and feels like easy way out but were stuck and need change in life or professional help to come out of it.. Hope this helps but your not alone many go through this but were all living in a bubble and impossible to pop...it damages u .

I used to day dream when i was alone now i day dream all the time, when im driving, at work or around other people. I find it a big distraction to my life but cant stop. I look like a freak when i raise my arms or twist, i get irritable or upset for no reason. a couple of times i've been so into my daydream while doing real life things its like i blacked out.

I look like a freak when I am in the library twisting the loop of my jeans. Thats is my relaxation even when I am not daydreaming!. I daydream to the point where I loose everything, like if something drops from my pocket I may not realise it because I am deeply daydreaming or I will put things down without conscious thought because I am daydreaming.. and its pointless to retrace my steps because i will not remember. I need to pay more attention to the real world! Is it something that you would like to stop doing completely or just control it more?

My illness dont affect my daily life, except the daydreaming. Honestly it is as if my daily life affects my daydreaming because I would rather daydream most of the time but oviously have real world stuff to attend to. How is school so far?? I hope you get your people back, to other people you may sound crazy but not me, I can so relate. I call them my people too lmaaoo, we are special and really imaginative thats all. These days I daydream without even realising it.. i mst have said it before but I do it so much its apart of my normal brain activity, its built in. So unless I purposely try to think of when I was daydreaming I wont remember. There is not much going on for my main girl right now.. because i havent really had time to put conscious thought into the dream. Dayreaming for me is like blinking I am aware I am doing it, but it is an involuntary activity most times even though I have voluntary control. Are you feeling better yet.. and are the side effects disappearing. Do you consciencly daydream often or do you just find yourself doing so most times?

The new characters are very mean, hurtful, and cause me to feel very depressed and angry (these emotions could also be because of the medication though). I try to focus my daydream back to my main characters as a distraction but this new story seems to override it. The new main character who is me but isn’t me is very similar to my main character in my original daydreams. And the others in my new daydream do have traits similar to that of my old ones but they are still not the same. I feel as if I have lost them but I hope they return because I too love my people. They have been through so much with me. I try to control what’s happening in the daydream but if I am not 100% focused things seem to go back to how they were. Haha as I reread this I sound very crazy! I hope I’m not going crazy…I have low iron as well though my blood cells are normal. It doesn’t affect your daily life or health does it? I have a few other mental issues and being able to daydream helped tremendously with them, (in my opinion anyway), but now I feel it’s doing more harm than good. I’m going to stay positive however and hope for the best.

Hi shan, how are you doing?? I was just thinking and you said your daydreaming help you other problems. Maybe its just your minds way of coping and disturbing your coping mechanism may be reason you felt distressed. How are you now? How is chool and everything?

OH my, thats devastating! I cant imagine my current story being completely replaced for another one, i would feel incomplete. I have had people come and go too, but my main character is always the same, she grows and get better and maybe her face changes but it is still her so the story revolves around her.. If she is not in my daydream then I cant dream. Even when it is not her scene it somehow relates to her..like the world revolves around her, thats not to say she is treated kindly like everyone, she has jealous haters too lol. WHat are these new characters like.. do they relate to the old one at all. I can only imagine how you feel, but if you dont like the new story does that mean you can control it and daydream about it less? because what I find is I love my people so much that I get back to them every chance I get.. if I didnt like the story there would be no point of daydreaming. I have a condition called thalessema doctors not too sure but my iron levels get low sometimes and my red blood cells are abnormally shaped. I also have nystagmus so my eyeballs move involuntarily t and I cant look at things straight on, I have to turn my head slighty to the side, but I dont wear glasses. Other than that Im quite normal.. depends on how u define normal.. anyways here is a video of me and my nystagmus

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgYoIRuol3I

I try my hardest to hop out of bed but it never works. Usually I wake up to a situation going on in the lives of my characters. Though recently something strange has been happening and I believe it's due in part to my medication. Now instead of daydreaming in the world of my characters, I find myself in a new, unfamiliar place with an unfamiliar set of characters. Throughout my life I have had people come and go, however it has never been this drastic before. Instead of my fantasied ones, it's now a group based on people that I have never me yet know of, and I am now a complete alter ego of myself is the main character. I hate it. It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable and does not give me the same feeling of being in my special place which I desperately need. And it too is ongoing. I stopped taking the medication to see if it will go away and also because it hurt my tummy too much. :p I am hoping and praying that while they may not go away, with the help of my therapist and educating myself more about this disorder that I will be able to cope better. I wish you the best of luck when school starts. My classes are going...well haha. Do you have any other disorders?

Hey I would like to know if there's help to daydreaming..as my story similar to yours but my stories are shorter and different people come and go..sometimes there about my family members and how I would like family life to be and turn out and somtimes stories I create when I meet someone ie crush or friend and sometimes stories in my own life how i become successful and somtimes stories on made up people int head..most times I day dream when I'm depressed or lonely . I'm glad to be on here it's a distraction and healer cuz sharing same problems. Can I go to doctors for this and what wud the doctor do to help???

I am happy that the Straterra is working well for you. I have not started school yet, I will start on the 24th. I am kind of excited but way more excited for my 21st birthday coming up this weekend. I daydream so much to the point where I dont realise when I am doing it nomore, its apart of my daily life. I was actually about to say to you that I have not been daydreaming much these days, but when I think of it, i actually never stop. I dont really realise how often I am doing it right now because I dont really have much work to do, but when I am at school and should be focusing and find myself daydreaming, thats when I realise the extent to which i daydream. Basically it is not a problem when I have no work to do. If I dont have anywhere to be in the mornings I can wake up and lay in bed daydreaming for hours, but when I do have to be up, I will just up and get on with my day its like that last minute will power. I daydream on the bus, while walking and unfortunately most times during lectures.. basically whenever I am not doing any compelling activity that requires me to think, te daydream occupies my mind . My parent think i sleep until midday, when the fact is I will be up from like 9-10 daydreaming. I am not sure how waking up early to daydream will help, if i do that I would just want to take any lil time i get to continue with my story, its like a favourite show that you rush home to watch.. except mine is accessable anytime. I really dont think it can ever go away.. because then what would my mind be filled with.. I always haveto be thinking about something. I think for me it takes away the stresses of the real world aswell, like instead of worring about all these problem I just enjoy the more beautiful life inside my head daydreaming. I am antisocial myself, I will be walking with my friends and they are talking but I am not paying attention because I am daydreaming. When I am in public and cant suck my tongue music is a huge trigger for me, sometimes I use the lyrics to help construct my story. I always have my earphones in, and I am always making up some kind of story to the song.Oh by the way I am Jamaican, but moved to the United Kindom 6 years ago, and people expect that because I am jamaican I should be wild and crazy, but I a very reserved.. I think as a result of my daydreaming. Let me know how therapy goes, and I think you try and cut down on the morning daydreams if you can.. I mean thats an hour less sleep, just try getting up and getting out, let me know how it goes if you can. xx

I definitly agree. Talking to you has not only allowed me to gain a beeter understanding of myself and also increase my self esteem. My parents are from the Bahamas but I grew up in the United States. I have two main characters, a boy and girl. Each individual has such a dynamic personality. It gets to be overwhelming at times. I too am not good at a socializing nor outgoing. I wish I could be. My "people" make it seem so easy lol. I wake up at 5am to allow myself time to daydream before class. It helps a little bit but it still is difficult to stop once my 6:00am alarm goes off. I have a bad habit of blowing off friends or not going to activites becasue I just can't stop daydreaming. I feel horrible about it but it's just how I am. I justify it to myself by saying that my "people" are better than the ones in the real world because they can't hurt me but I am afraid that I may eventually end up isolating myself from everyone which I don't really want to happen but I feel helpless to stop it. I began seeing a therapist last week. I have yet to tell her about my daydreaming addiction and am very nervous to do so. I want to understand better why I do it but I would be devasted if they ever completely went away. So far the Strattera has been alright. I can think more clearly and am more alert. I don't drift off as often in class and when I do if I can catch myself it's pretty easy to stop. Also it has had a postive effect on my mood. While I am on it I feel extremely calm and content. It makes me sleepy as it wears off but I read that this side effect goes away after a while. Also it has greatly decreased my appetiate. I hope that classes are going well for you. :)

I could not help but smile when I read that.. we are too much alike, as a matter or fact as we speak I am under the covers with the lights off about to dream. I souck my tongue all the time too, esp during my sleep when I am tired, hungry or daydreaming ever since I was young. I loved school but sometimes I tend to go off into my world when the teacher gets boring. I actually dont know how I made it this far in academics with such a short attention span. My daydream might have started due to trauma too, my mom had me at 16 and my dad wasnt really around until I got older, so at the time unknowingly this my dream world was my get away. I am from a rural area in Jamaica and my family didnt really have much so ofcourse this main character in my dream is filthy rich. When I started primary school I became exposed to the other people and their situations and I saw what it was like to be well off so I would impliment these situations in my head. As I get older and travel and see the world more this character becomes like a replica of all those things. I really dont know to explain it, but whatever makes me happy, sad or anything funny, basically anything that has a lasting emotion tend to get implimented in my daydreams. Also if I watch a movie that moves me I tend to some how fit my main character in it. Mine has one main person but there are other familes, friends of hers that live in different places that I focus on sometimes. It is seriously a soap opera going on inside this head of mine, and it is silly but its so good lol. These people are apart of me too, its like I can feel their pain I sometimes even cry along with them and get soooo stressed over problems that arent mine.In the mornings is when I am best, I can stay in bed for hours not even getting up to go breakfast because I am daydreaming, sometimes I literally haveto just jump up to snap out of it and get on with my day. Most of these people are bold and going and well sociable, basically things that I wish I could bem I tend to worry about what people think and my characters dont. So in a way I think alot of them. I think the greatest thing about this dream is that I have control, things dont always go right but eventually in my mind I fix it.. I steer it into the direction I want it to go and oviously this is not so with the real world. I dont know, it just makes me feel fulfilled in a way even though it interrupts my real world activities sometimes. Thanks so much for being my outlet, I am learning and understanding more about myself by writing these messaged. I hope I do the same for you xx

I SUCK MY TONGUE TOO! I honestly thought I was so weird for doing this haha. It's very awesome that you do it too. I don't only do it in my daydreaming but also while I sleep. It's comforting though an involuntary action. My family was the same way. I hated going to school because I just wanted to stay home and daydream. I remember when I was a little girl I'd act out my daydreams with barbie dolls and inadament objects. I believe my daydreaming started due to a lot of trauma that I experienced when I was younger. The world around me crumbling so I created a new one, a better one in my head. And I've been going there ever since. There are loving families and each member I can hone in on and concentrate on what's going on in their lives. Some of them are rich, others poor. A few are rock stars, doctors, house wives, students, children, just anyone that my mind can imagine. They are apart of me though and I do realize that they are not real however they've been with me so long that I have grown accustomed to doing stuff and trying stuff they like. It's insightful. I feel so crazy though because I know "normal" people don't have communities in their head of people who they control but yet have no control over. But I'm so glad that I found this group and I met you. You make me feel less of a weirdo and also reassure me that it's just not me choosing not to focus. I usually cocoon myself under the covers and daydream. I like to be in dark or dim confined spaces. I try to avoid doing that though because it's one of my triggers. But then again everything is a trigger! I especially hate when I see people who look like them people in my head. I'm so tempted to up to them and ask them their names but you know that would be extra bonkers...I'm sorry that this response is so random. I'm just typing what comes to head.

I agree that it is very difficult for people who dont have this condition to understand. I tried to tell my dad once before but because I didn't know how to even explain it properly myself I came off as crazy. After I found this group and read some stories I could explain it better but he still doesn't really understand. He thinks I should write and let it all out, but this would take a lifeitme to write..literally.. lol. My family always thought I was lazy and slow from a a young age because I would rather sit down and daydream and they thought my attention span was great since I could be in one place for a long period of time compared to other kids. What they didnt know is that I would not be focusing on the world. I was just taken up by my daydreaming. I think it gets worst as I get older though, because it doesnt just happen out of subconscience, I sometimes (most times) purposely go off into this world for my own pleasure, actually I cant say its purposely because I could not stop even if I tried. I would do all my chores, get it out of the way to have loads of me time to dream. This might sound weird but I suck my tongue also, like a baby - just like some people suck their thumbs- and feel things like my pillow while I daydream if I am at home. Sometimes even in public which is embarrasing.When I was younger I had one pillow my grandma made me that I took everywhere, I could not sleep anywhere over night without it because it had a rough edge that I like feeling (like how some people twirl their hair for comfort I guess). So I would suck my ttongue and feel my pillow or w/e substitute I can find, while I daydream... its the best place to be lol, so relaxing. Do you do anything for comfort while u daydream?..iknow some people rock back and forth or walk around in circles.

Strattera is used to treat adhd inattentive type/hyperactive type and depression. It isn't an amphedimane however, it works by slowly building in your system. I started it today, I will let you know how it goes. :) I do daydream more when I am being taught. I try my hardest not to but it just happens. I also daydream more when I am stressed. A lot of my daily life is control by how "they" make me feel. I find myself wandering around crying or laying in bed depressed because someone had a bad day. Their emotions affect me so strongly! I know that I have control but at same time I feel as if I don't ya know? Also I have a tendency to speak what they are saying out loud which is embarrassing because it looks as if I am talking to myself. At times I just prefer to stay indoors and not deal with others due to my lack of focus. Or I wish I could be locked in room and allowed to daydream my life away. It's very difficult for people who don't suffer from this to really understand what we're going through. It's not like I choose to be so absorbed in the perfect world inside my head; it's like a vortex, I just get sucked in. Hours upon hours are wasted because I can't stop daydreaming.

I really cant either, I even thought that everyone did this because I cant imagine not having something occupy my mind at all times. I might use your rubber band idea that sounds like a good one. I havent spoken to a doctor about this ever.. what is strattera supposed to do? I hate taking medicine aswell especially continuously but atleast as it is my final year and the work load will be extreme I would try something. I should probably talk to a doctor aswell. I am doing Biomedical Science so similar fields :D. I love it, but some modules are boring and I get lost in those lectures. I tend to do better when I study on my own, like do my own research, as in sinks in more, because I daydream when being taught.. is this the same for you? It makes me emotional too, because if I am daydreaming about a sad story I am sad on the outside. Its to the point where I am sitting on the bus looking sad, and grumpy if the story is sad in my head or just smiling (not in a creepy way) if its a happy story lol. Likewise if I am sad for some reason I tend to express that in my daydream. It helps me deal with things emotionally. I love it too, for my own entertainment and its kindof relaxing but I wish I could control where are when I do it more.

I am studying mental health counseling. How about you? I talked to my doctor about it and he told me that he could start me on strattera to see if it would help keep me focused. I don't too much like medicine but at this rate I don't know what else to do. Unfortunately none of my classes are interesting enough yet to keep me focused. I wear a rubber band around my wrist during lecture/everyday life and pop it when I catch myself daydreaming. It semi helps...It's such a bittersweet disorder to have. It makes me ridiculously emotional and causes me quite a bit of embarrassment but I love it. I don't know what a life without constant daydreaming feels like.

Hi shan, no solutions.. i think it just requires deep concentration which I dont have. Someone suggested university is not for people like us.. which I disreguard because I do well anyways, just wish I could focus more and daydream outside of lectures. I find that when the lectures are intertesting I am fine. Also maybe taking notes keep us occupied aswell so we wont dream so much. It just takes will power, but alot of it, and more than half the time I give in and just sit there and dream. what are you studying at university?

Your story is just like mine. It's nice to know that I'm not alone. I am also in university and am having difficulties focusing. Any solutions that you find that help you please let me know. I would love to have a daydreaming buddy too. :) Best wishes.