I Hate This..it Makes Me Feel As If I'm Crazy

i have maladaptive daydreaming i can go as far as being 7 and having a very crazy imagination. i was sexually abused for 13 years and i understand that my day dreaming came from this or i hope it did . I'Sometimes i wouldn't get up from bed a whole day, just daydreaming my life away. I would reinvent my whole life in those moments. I'm 22 years old and i have a baby and it makes me afraid sometimes because i live my life as if i was split in 2..in my fantasy world I'm a god or sometimes I'm just happy or i just am a total different person, in my real life I'm a mom i have a career and a husband but none knows this. i watch movies or listen to music and i create something from any feelings i get from the movies or the song lyrics..sometimes when i fight with my husband i pretend that i don't love him anymore and that I'm a single mom or that he's completely different and it helps me get over the real issues.. idont know if i really am crazy or its just an effect from the abuse. but i wish there was some kind of way to stop it. It makes me feel crazy..
SPR1990 SPR1990
22-25, F
1 Response Nov 13, 2012

We are the same! I'm 24 years old, married, have a 20 month old son with one on the way. MD really gets on my nerves. I hate that half the time I'm present and the other half of the time my mind is far gone! I think my MD has kept me with my husband. I picture him at times as a completely different person. 2 years ago I was pregnant on my birthday. I felt sad cause he did not take me anywhere so in my mind I completely made up the fact that he bought me a gift, took me to somewhere everything. The whole thing was a complete fabrication of my mind and when I finally snapped out of the dream I realized it was a daydream and began to get really sad. Sometimes I will daydream my husband and I take walks and talking for hours. There are other times i see myself as a single mom but that's a daydream really ( In the single mom daydream I am a billionaire with tons a nannies and I just sit my fabulous closet trying on new clothes all day - Never gonna happen lol ) I sometimes think I'm crazy too but a psychiatrist told me it's a coping mechanism from trauma. He also said as long as I know that dreams are not real and they are not extremely complex then no anti psychotics are needed. I stopped taking 60 mg of Geodon after that. It can create anxiety and low self esteem it you let it. Tell your husband though it feels so much better when you can tell someone.