Infp + Mdd

I've been daydreaming since early childhood. My parents were/are odd people, they fought and they isolated me to a degree. I wanted more interaction than I had, basically.

I always had various story lines that were short lived and meaningless, until I was 14. I had a dream about a person and the daydream that I have now was sparked. I'm 21 now, and my daydream is extremely extensive and developed.

I haven't seen this before: I have three main characters in my daydream. One is based on myself, just idealized, and the other tow are based off two people that I am very attracted to, who are both celebrities. All three of these characters have personalities that are basically offshoots of my own, meaning, I divided my own real personality into three. I assign my own personality traits to these daydream people.

This really is embarrassing, but I can honestly say that I love these people that I made up. Sometimes, when I'm sick or high, the daydreams become so vivid and emotionally charged that my entire body becomes overwhelmed with feeling. That feeling itself is like a high, and I crave and chase it. It's wild but, I often get the high from a certain scenario I envision, and then I try to replicate it. Chasing the dragon. It can never be replicated, but I try and try.

I suppose I'm already an idealistic person, but the daydreams make that occur even more so. I have real life friends, and a real life boyfriend, but the interaction is usually unsatisfying. It's just easier to daydream.

I don't do this in public/real life. I do at at home and stuff. It doesn't distract me from things that I have to do, but I do realize that I would be more social if I wasn't doing this.

I'm also a full fledged INFP, which I think is co-morbid with MDD.
Kurtface Kurtface
18-21, F
2 Responses Nov 21, 2012

Yep, INFP hardout affiliated with MD (I dont call it a disorder ;) I am INFP or INFJ depending on the test. Mine surfaced around age 14, and left me around mid 20s. I'm now 30 and its back! Same stories. Are you still on EP? I see this post is quite old. Love to chat is you're keen

This is almost my exact story. I created about 2 different story lines that went on for almost a year before I created 1 that I've played over and over and in my head. Whenever I get bored of it, I just start it over and create new details. By now it's gotten really really in depth. I have 2 main characters. One that is an idealized version of myself, and one that is my ideal lover. There's also lots of other characters. I'm also an INFP personality. We have this ability to go easily go in and out of what they call a 'hermit' state, where we easily get lost in our thoughts. That trait definitely feeds our MDD. I get really into the emotions and story line. Sometimes I'm more into this story than real life. But then sometimes it fades away. The intensity of my daydreams come in waves.

Wow. I'm almost 30 and just figuring out what this is. I've been doing it as long as I can remember. It's obviously tied to introversion and idealism. Just seems like such an odd thing to do. I don't feel like it takes a whole lot away from my life. As an introvert I like to spend a lot of time alone anyway but I guess I do prefer my fantasy people to real life people and that's why I continue to do it. I guess I don't really see it as a disorder. Expect, I do see how real people will never live up to my fantasies so that's obviously not helpful. I also find that I fantasise about things I wish I could do but that I can't do for whatever reason so I can definitely see how that's maladaptive. Still I don't see it as being overly harmful if you can keep it in check.