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The Architect And The Samarian (Maladaptive Daydreamer) A strange story...

Im not totaly sure if this is MD or what, but my life is pretty much done so feel free to call me crazy...



If you are going to complain about strange or poor grammer in the comments, just dont read it, bro. This is my Maladaptive daydream life... At first I posted anonymously, but I would like responses by some others so here I am, with 100%  deep honesty!!!

Alright, I thought that as celebration of my, "Independence" , I might as well type about it. "It", the life I live in my mind... So it started around fifth grade maybe a little earlier, when I used to play with legos. I was hitting puberty and had a little fantasies about a girl in class that i liked (imaginary). I would fly the lego ship which I built around to assist the fantasy of the air ship crashing. Then it would be some erotic oasis adventure usually...
But I was also very depressed, and I didn't really have many friends. I was picked on constantly in school, and my brother may had actually been worse because I couldn't get away from him ever. The only time that I didn't feel picked on was when I was alone up in my room. One day, I did something that I will regret for the rest of my life,I created Sam (my profile pic)...
So much has happened since, its been along time, all I remember is that I must have created her specifically to be different from everything. She  had yellow hair, and a perfect body (in my opinion at the time of course). 
She was my version of an imaginary friend. We spent allot of time escaping violent situations that often ended in some sort of sexual perversion like rape. in and around a large city (a giant downtown with skyscrapers, and all silver buildings and tan lights)... 
By now I was spending over an hour a day immersed in this separate life I had began to create. Even though I found myself in terrorizing situations which in what I now realize was that city was the beginning of the architects; Thats the only place with males that I have seen, even my body is that of a girl in my mind. 
At some point, in charge of a group of architects (they are notable for being able to bend "reality" with their minds, but only slightly). Then Sam ended up fighting a war against the "Demora", They were not around long, Sam being the perfect human, had instant reflexes, unlimited strength (based on will power), and the deadliest rifle my brain could cook up (Three-barreled Anti-material fully automatic assault rifle!) She managed to reproduce a number of times, thus starting the Zeliot subspecies, Which later leads to the Samarian empire.
At this point Apex showed up, I didn't make her, and thus refer to her as a pre-omnian. I think at this point I started to loose my grip in the dreams, slowly loosing control.
I was also spending at least two or three hours a day daydreaming over the course of the summer before sixth grade. I can only vaguely remember the details that far back.

Now its seventh grade, I've gotten far worse, spending most of my time is spent with Sam, and in real life I was getting beat up often, I avoided my friends and family... By now the Samarian empire is well developed (along with many more factions which i wont focus on) with a culture (notably, kissing is a bigger deal than sex which is casual activity among Samarians). Sam by now is for all purposes my first girlfriend, she is the empress of the Samarian empire. Things are hardly focused on sex, (Samarian sexuality is rather disturbing, primarily because of the foot long testicles which roll out from the gentiles during intercourse) and mostly on serious and rather depressing things. For example I would secretly commit sadistic type activities. And I demanded loyalty from my other imaginary friends. 
At the end of seventh grade I told her... I told Sam that she wasn't real and that she was simply a product of my imagination, and also the mild sadistic stuff. Predictably, she hated me after that I was now depressed in my dreams too, I had lost all emotion in reality, and spent all of my time daydreaming and gaming, usually at once. 
By eighth grade I was totally disconnected, I found myself unable to escape from the hell I had developed, and concluded that I was totally nuts! School was, well, I wasn't really paying attention and that caused me to get all "D" grades, missing homework became another stress, but it all felt the same. All my real feelings were with me and, "Sammy" ,as I started to call her affectionately. Fortunately, Even-though I was deeply in love with her, we were just friends after that.. I was crushed by that, I think we both were... Its been a depressing friendship ever since.

As of recently, I just a few days ago started learning about Maladaptive daydreaming. I think thats what this has been, at least its not schizophrenia... 
Anyway, Im failing most of my classes, im in tenth grade, and today im stopping cold turkey! I also have a girlfriend in real life now who I love very much, and I have many more friends! This is because  I learned to put on that mask, to look like I feel, care, and know about things. Now I have a bunch of friends who dont really know me, except my girlfriend (who is very accepting of all this). Shes my only interest in reality. But I realized that I need to choose either Sam in the fantasy, or Socius in reality. Im choosing reality, And thats why I need to die in the fantasy (not reality). Its not where I escape to anymore, its where I need to escape from... Wish me luck :) Human friends are gonna be interesting :D

This was very vague and lacking in detail but im mostly focusing on not what I think of as respawning. Its pretty cold out here (reality). 
Comment your opinion, If your like this I would love to hear from you seeing as how im feeling pretty alone...
LacusLaganum LacusLaganum 16-17, M Feb 1, 2013

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