I Hate Daydreaming!!

Okay soo how do I start this...

Well, I'm 21 and in my last year of college and today I finally pinned down a name for what I've been feeling pretty much my entire life. That's the first step, right?

I'm pretty sure I suffer from Maladaptive daydreaming, which is basically excessive daydreaming. I've made up movies and novels starring several different characters, as well as idealized alter egos of myself, where I'm prettier, smarter and more extroverted (at least my own interpretations of what those things are). I've made up stories about my family members as well.

It Doesn't sound that bad, but for me, it's the WORST. I can't focus for more than a few minutes honestly, especially in lecture. I can't stand being around people for extended periods of time (partially because I'm an anxious and somewhat paranoid individual) and hide away by myself whenever I get the chance. I have a close group of about 8 friends and I have a really hard time connecting to anyone else. When I do find myself alone, I can daydream in the same position for DAYS. Yeah, DAYS. No food, no water (I force myself to use the restroom).

For example, the height of my disorder so far was probably when I was studying for my MCAT. The exam is 3 sections, 3 breaks, 5 and a half hours total. As my test day drew closer, my daydreaming became more frequent, especially when it came to the verbal reasoning section (arguably the hardest one) where you read a passage and answer questions. During my actual exam it went completely out of control and I spaced out for most of it. I could barely read. As soon as I finished, I was so upset that I went to my room and daydreamed of a "better, smarter me" from Friday (the day of the exam) to Monday afternoon (the day I had to go back to campus) no food, no water. Just me, on my bed, alone,in the dark. It's normal for me to be in my room for extended periods of time, but I always have my TV, computer etc. on and I go downstairs for food like 100 times a day lol. Only my mom was aware that something was up because she's the one who dropped me off/picked me up from the exam. No one else noticed until Sunday that I wasn't eating. My parents didn't find me help because they don't believe in mental disorders. They just kinda patted me on the back like "it's okay... you'll do better next time".

I think I do it because I'm a perfectionist. Nobody and nothing is perfect, so of course I'm always disappointed in myself and others. I try and take good care of my body (I'm thin, I exercise daily, I eat healthy...) but no matter what, I'm never good enough, so I just sit around for hours imagining the life of the "better, smarter, prettier me". I used to try my best in school and always fall short (like "chasing pavement") but now, because of senioritis, I don't feel that drive until the last minute. Like I've had exams at 9AM and only started studying for them 7AM that day, partially because I was daydreaming instead of studying. My advisers tell me that the best method for me to study for retaking my MCAT (obviously I didn't do as well as I wanted) is to study each section for 5 hours at a time, but because of the daydreaming, I can't even focus for a full hour. Does anyone relate to what I'm going through? I hate this so much, if I never daydreamed another day in my life I would be the happiest girl alive, no joke.

P.S. Adderal made me hyper-focus and then daydream for like 6 hours soo I don't think I have ADD lol
PamAna PamAna
22-25, F
6 Responses Nov 25, 2013

I became a Christian, & I had a very traumatic, abusive life with my family hating my guts. No one cares. I was told that me daydreaming & having imaginary friends is demonic, & that I need deliverance.

I have this problem also, it doesn't stop me from moving or anything but whenever I daydream I feel like I'm trapped inside of my own head and I'm cut off from the world. I once tried to stop myself from daydreaming but it just made the daydreams more intense and realistic

Seclusion is the worst thing for it I'm 22 and have experienced a lot do to my wanting a more for myself through my dreams I always dream of being an extreme sports athlete or being a person of interest in a since. so one day I decided instead of saying to my friends that I had to stay home for whatever reason I'd come up with so I could just dream that I'd hangout and spend the night which I never did before cause I always feared snapping into a dream in front of them so that fear actually caused it to recede back where the more time I spent around people the less I had the urge to dream, but I still did and sometimes I would go back to the days of just dreaming and pacing back in forth until I'm too dizzy to stand anymore, but after high school I decided to take a new direction and moved in with 3roommates which meant I had to share my room and we all know that's like a complete nightmare to us, but I did it anyway no solitude for an entire year except for in the shower or whenever I was at work but I could control it a bit better by that point where it only lasted for 30min maybe an hour and I used to be a 7-8hour a day occasional sleep then back at it MD since I was 5yr old so it does show you can control it if you will expand your mind outside the walls of your room and into the social world,
I officially can say I have tamed what many of us including me thought could not be tamed I only day dream on occasion now at probably the normal amount if not at all sometimes and stop myself when it becomes too in depth as to not revert back to it and because I've learned to do that I've become the person of interest and the life of the party when I tell people all the stuff I've accomplished such as my pride and joy skydiving which is the best real life dream you can ever have its like your dreaming but your mind has nothing to do with it except for concentrate on what your supposed to be doing and I've never felt happier in my entire life and I have not MD daydreamed since Dec of 2013

Hey I am going through the same thing I only have few people I hang out with because I'm always at home daydreaming. I used to think I was stupid because I couldn't focus in school from daydreaming. I quit college because I couldn't focus and I can't really do much cause I can't stop daydreaming in going to take counseling soon so hopefully that will help.

i do some very intense daydreaming as well, however i began to inegrate into reality and change my perception for it. i was daydreaming about being beautiful, confident, ethereal and powerful, walking across campus. and then i realized i am those things if i just project them from my mind and into the world around me. i closed my eyes for a moment and opnened them as if i re awoke in that daydream, my step grew stronger, the look in my eyes changed and could feel it. I know this is very strange but its about realizing your daydreams are already a reality in many ways, just let yourself feel it. you are beautiful trust me and when you act sure of yourself, not a person will 2nd guess you or judge.

Alright so my names Nick I'm on the same boat as you here, same age and everything. I honestly don't have an answer or miracle cure because I just found this all out about a month ago. What I can tell you though is that from what ive read there are a lot of other people like this too but no one has an answer besides seeing a therapist or something that's sometimes seems kinds like ehhh I don't think I can Do that. But just recently ive been trying something, instead of just daydreaming for the hell.of it I'm trying to focus it and intentionally make a story but this time record it on my phone or type it and eventually my goal is to make a book out pf it, I know on top of school and work it seems like a long shot but I'm just doing what I can. At this point I just don't want it to consume my life and end up being fat and lonely. So maybe you could try it too? Just a thought. Either way I hope this helps even a little bit I know it can get lonely sometimes. Good luck! -Nick