Hey I just wanted to check if I have this or if im doing the google diagnosis thing, I tend to worry a lot in the past I’ve self-diagnosed myself with gingivitis and Asperger’s. if I do could u please say if you think its deadly and I should stop and please give suggestions of how to stop it. If possible don’t recommend medication because that would involve telling my parents and im embarrassed.
i started writing this earlier but couldnt send cause my internet was acting wack. when i sent it earlier i wanted u guys to say "noooo you dont have it", now i want u to say yes, because if i dont have it what the hell is wrong with me?

I’ve taken online quizzes that say I have it but they don’t let you explain or the questions don’t make sense. Also the only reason I came to the quizzes was cause I realised I daydream too much and googled is daydreaming bad, so an obvious sign I might have a problem. Im also checking cause the remedies I’ve seen seem harsh thus cut out tv, books and music (all of which I live for, because i suck at sports).
I have no traumatic event to cover or to try and get away from. I have great parents and sister but very few friends and my closest friends moved away when I was younger, at times they were heavily featured in my daydreams when I was younger with elaborate stories of why they returned, usually cause I was famous will get to that later.
But I am bored of my life. I tend to daydream when im bored so a boring lecture, church or certain school readings.
Its not always triggered by boredom sometimes I can just be bored and sit there and do nothing, no dreaming. I’ve never daydreamed in the company of others unless you count in the car when we take long cross country trips. I usually day dream in my bedroom. I can never daydream when im sad, sadness seems to cut it off especially when the sadness is due to a personal attack on me thus why im a "useless blah blah blah cause I don’t blah blah blah". Basically when I don’t meet people’s criteria of being a valuable human being.
It becomes problematic when I have to study and the work is boring me I get in a haze and realise I’ve been on the same word for an hr. if I didn’t daydream I could fall asleep. It might be affecting my work in that now more than ever I need to concentrate cause the work is getting harder but im finding it harder to do that.
My one friend put it best when she said every year I find it harder and harder to concentrate on school work or studying. Also I have no close friends at the dormitory/ res I currently stay at so I have no one to talk about how my day was etc.
Also another symptom I don’t have is creativity. I used to think I was creative but im not. My highschool English teacher hated all my stories. So I ended up writing discursive essays because she didn’t follow politics.

If you notice I started by trying to show how I don’t have it which is a bad habit I have of denial.
Ok now to the possible crazy, my daydreams have changed overtime. When I was younger they were of other people and I use to either write them down as stories or tell my sister them as stories. As I grew older I became the main person and it revolved around how I wanted my highschool experience to be thus me not being as awkward and shy, I wrote these down too. I sometimes used to write goals for myself based on them. Thus be more outgoing, tell a joke etc.
Today music is involved in my dreams in that in them im a singer so sometimes when I listen to music I imagine how I would want the music video to be or how I would perform it as a concert, obviously I pace around for this performing dance moves etc. It is at this point I would just like to say that I would neeeeever become a singer im chronically shy so it’s not planning im doing its pure fantasy, in an ideal world scenario. This is why I find it dangerous because I’ve incorporated myself into it knowing it will never happen, kind of like hope breeds eternally misery…I don’t know. Also here my lack of creativity shows because other times I imagine myself in a tv series except its real life. For e.g im a new love interest for Steve McGarrett on Hawaii five 0, its really stupid and this is one of my regulars like the singer daydream. I have 3 dream lives I go to and to be honest most indicate the same thing I want to be good at something/ anything and I need a boyfriend. I hope you can see that my dreams take the movie or novel format in that next time I daydream I pick up from where I left or I repeat something I’ve already daydreamed. Im a regular on fandom videos on youtube I love them and always imagine myself as the female love interest I feel so weird cause im 22 years old and 15 yr olds and younger made the videos. I remember reading on a forum one guy saying that he imagines himself doing something someone else did like score a brilliant goal the way a star of his has. I do that too and maybe change a little sometimes, Ok here comes the weird because for me in this world where im a singer I incorporate other peoples acceptance speeches into my dreams, except im saying them. And imagine myself in the gowns they wear but obviously I do it differently. I ve gone over some daydreams so often that I know which dress goes with which event/ award show and what speech occurs there. I’ve given myself endorsement deals and a many different celebrity boyfriends, cause people break up. OK IM WEIRD IM SORRY. As you can imagine I live on youtube for all these speeches and how I would like to be a spokesperson for this brand too blah blah blah. Its like I live in the film josie and the pussycats. Its sad I know. I actually look up things for accuracy or watch speeches over and over imagining me saying the funny parts etc. I also save pictures of dresses I like (and live on certain fashion blogs), I feel so messed up like I should be on my strange obsession.

Another key thing is that there are many outside factors in life that I cant change that make me undesirable as a human where I live, wrong ethnicity and social circumstances where you were born, etc. So I incorporate people being tolerant of people like me always in my dreams.
Also (sorry for the overuse of also) my stories seem to end after say winning the grammy thus tour interviews etc then grammy and I stop for a while until a performance by someone (in real life lorde or beyonce) inspires me again and I start all over. By that I mean the story of me rising to fame is gone over again with adjustments. I never seem to advance past the ‘struggle’ to rise to prominence. Cause then its boring. Its kind of like my brain says and they lived happily ever after. The only one’s that progress somewhat are the ones that are linked to tv (but not always) because then I just daydream the episode i watched and include myself in it and including the outfits I wear each day (clothes are very nb to me, im weird ok). Is it also weird to pretend you the actress playing the character?, that happened once with a comedy I was watching like I was making the audience laugh delivering her lines but it was my body. Also am I the only one that can see themselves in the daydream thus its like im watching the story of my life from the screen?
Sometimes I go over bad stuff that happened to me usually embarrassing stuff and envision them differently other times I think of stuff im scared of and envision them going positively this is usually where I might make notes for assistance.
Also sometimes I get bored of my fantasy daydreams and they stop.
Also it only disrupts my life when I find the task at hand boring and of late that seems to be more often than not. I’ve still been able to meet deadlines etc, I just know I have to start earlier than most students do on assignments cause I know my thoughts wander always. Same goes with exam preparation. But I want a way to completely eliminate these thought from my studies cause I did fail a subject last yr (im in my final yr in university) and I was just wondering if this could be partly the cause of the failure. Because usually when it starts I stop myself if an urgent task is at hand and splash cold water but it comes back eventually. Sometimes I do incentive studying thus study for 45 minutes daydream for 15 minutes pattern. It also disrupts my life in that I know that my real life will never match up to my daydream life, this is the one that scares me the most that im going to be depressed for life. i mean how is a shy homely looking girl going to get a boyfriend in my dreams the guys approach me.

Also besides lack of concentration and getting you depressed that your life isn’t like the one you dream how is this bad? Like why are we using the word maladaptive? Isn’t that a bit harsh aren’t we just fantasy seekers? Because all the stories I’ve read here, all people really need to do is learn to control it and maybe figure a way to tell the person you love about it if you know you end up living with someone e.g boyfriend/ girlfriend wife /husband etc (cause in my case someone will eventually find my notebook/ diary where I write in detail what I’ve day dreamed), that hey I have this slightly weird habit. Im looking at it this way those twilight moms have husbands why cant we?
Cause you not harming anyone and for most of us we feel happy so im confused? Is it because we maybe need to grow up? I don’t know is that it. Because I understand why its embarrassing but why maladaptive? I mean do we really need to class it as a mental disorder? Also is it a possibility that my condition will get worse? Cause right now I feel like a small town girl wishing to move to the big city, in terms of my daydreams.
PS: does going through a mental checklist of what you have to do or what to put in an essay count as daydreaming just checking just in case you guys "say stoooop girl stop dreaming its bad for you."
So sorry for the essay
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3 Responses Aug 19, 2014

I usually sit in my room or somewhere where i am alone and I daydreamed my life away.

I agree with you about how maladaptive daydreaming isn't inherently a bad thing, I think the problem comes when you lose control of it and it starts to negatively affect your real life, kinda like it has with me. I have a lot of characters in my daydreams and over time without me really noticing they've sort of become more important than my real friends, and distracted me from college work and stuff like that. I don't think you need to stop unless you want or need to and I don't think it really hurts anyone, but everyone is different in how they experience this so it's really up to you.

If you do want to stop... As far as I can tell there's no official medication specifically for this, but maybe therapy would help, although that would involve telling your parents which you said you don't want to do (and I completely understand that, I don't want to tell my family either) so I would say avoid triggers if you have them, if you get bored while you're working maybe take a little break if you can and just recharge... I also have concentration problems and I find it helps if I study in short bursts and set myself little goals for what I need to learn that day and eliminate distractions (although that isn't easy when the distraction is in your own mind).

I really hope something I've said helps and I haven't just rambled on... Anyway, good luck, and just remember that you aren't alone in this.

I can understand why you'd want to stop MD in that situation and I'm trying to control mine too... I look at it as more of an addiction than a mental illness, neither of them sound pleasant I know, but I think it's something that can definitely be beaten.

There's something that I've been trying lately (I say lately, but I mean for the past two days) which is whenever I want to have a 'conversation' in my head with my fictional characters I instead write down the thought in a notebook. So say if I'm reading a good book and I want to talk to my characters about how good it is instead I just write down whatI think about it. That's been pretty effective so far at stopping one tiny thought from morphing into hours of daydreaming, and it's definitely helped me since my MD I think is due to a combination of very disorganized thoughts and nobody to talk to. I guess if you're out you can't just stop and write a load of stuff down but you could make a little note on your phone? I mean it might not help, but I just thought I'd share this idea.

Like I said, writing things down has worked for me. And if you want you can always message me if you need to talk :)

Daydreaming is normal. In very few cases can it be described as maladaptive. EllenMelon's response is good. Don't worry too much about it.

I also have MD, it's too hard to stop it, i think I got MD because of my parent somehow, BTW thanks for share!