Quitting MDD - my story

Hi friends!

I posted about quitting MDD a couple months ago and just wanted to give everyone an update and offer whatever help I can.

I have been working on recovering from MDD for the past several months and have not done it at all in over a month now.

I don't want to give the impression that everything is now magically amazing or that it's been easy, but my life is significantly better now.

I've been using 12-step recovery and meditation.

I also have bipolar and anxiety, for which I'm on meds and go to therapy.

Feel free to reply here or to my original post if you need support.

BuddhistAddict BuddhistAddict
1 Response Feb 4, 2016

hello there! i just wanted to ask,your therapist helped you to recover MDD?? Or you did it all by yourself ?

Hey! Talked about it with my therapist and my primary method is through 12-step work, meetings, friends in recovery, my sponsor, my meditation and journaling practice. Do you have a therapist? Have you talked to him/her?

I feel like it's definitely not something you can do alone - having as much support in place as possible is key!

thank you for the information :) actually no,i still haven't gone to my therapist,it's just a week i know that i suffer from MDD . Actually i'm trying by my self to do my best,meaning,trying not to be alone at home all the time,trying going out if it's possible , trying to keep my mind busy by watching movies,reading etc. I don't think i feel confident enough to talk about it yet... maybe if i see that i can't get it through i'll go. i haven't talked to anyone about it yet.. have you?? :)

i mean except your therapist *

Yes I know the shame, it's awful. Now I am totally not ashamed though and most people in my life know now. I don't explain the details, I just say I have this thing called maladaptive daydreaming and I'm in recovery for it. People have been surprisingly understanding and actually have given me a lot of support, encouragement, love, respect. My boyfriends a recovering alcoholic so he totally gets it. It's the same ****. Addicts get it, I've found. They might be like, huh? at first but if you explain it like it's an addiction, it's messing with my life, etc., they get it. It's just another coping mechanism, like drugs, alcohol, sex, compulsive cleaning, anything people do compulsively-nothing to be ashamed of :) now that I've stopped my self-respect is improving leaps and bounds. And that also makes me less ashamed.
Awesome that you're staying busy, also that you're reaching out about it now-it took me several years between discovering what mdd was and deciding to quit, so the fact that you're confronting this now is awesome.
Great that you're trying to stay busy and see people, that really helps :)

I'm getting a new sponsor (things didn't work out with my old one) and going to tell him about it today. Feeling anxious but it will be good to get it off my chest and start working with him. Also you don't have to reveal it all at once. Even telling people you're close to that you're going through a hard time, being vague but reaching out - I think that's a good start and if/when you feel the impulse to reveal more you can

I've also said I had it in meetings. It's nice that there's a name for it so you don't have to go into details. Saying it aloud in front of a group of people who are also revealing vulnerable things is incredibly healing. Also it's nice to just say your piece and then no one comments afterwards so you aren't burdened by what their responses are (no "crosstalk" in meetings).

really thank you again for all your information,i think you're the first person that helps me that much and the first person i talk to about that so much. Well yeah i try to keep my mind busy but of course there are times i will start daydreaming again especially after being alone at home for hours. but every time i'm starting daydreaming i immediately try to stop it. i'm still trying to understand what is the problem with all that,i still think of when i'm about to start going to a therapist but every time i'm thinking that i might not daydream again i kinda get 'scared' because i like it when i daydream actually i feel good,i feel free. But of course every time it happens i know i shouldn't and then i feel guilty.. sorry if i got you confused,i hope u understand what i'm trynna say here :P
i'm really glad you are having such good progress and you are so confident !! really i'm impressed and it gives me power to my own problem,when i see stories like yours. So keep fighting and move on :)

Thanks! Talked to my new sponsor last night, he's great. He's a "mentor" actually - in this Buddhist recovery group called refuge recovery. He says you have to hit bottom - have that moment where you realize you can no longer go on this way and you need to forge a new path. Until you reach that place recovery can't really begin. In 12-step programs they call it the gift of desperation. Maybe you're not at that point and that's ok. And maybe for you reduction is the best path, or maybe it's not a problem at all-only you know for sure. I would say just keep an open mind and see if you can notice how it affects you and what triggers it, what's underneath it. Keep me posted, feel free to reach out any time! So nice to talk with you about this, it helps me a lot too :) much love to you!!!

well unfortunately where i live there are no mentors or sponsors to help you. All you can do is go to a psycologist and talk about it. Well yeah i'm still trying to adjust at my situation and i'm still trying to realise what's going on to me. As you say,maybe i have to reach bottom and go seek for help. But for now i'm kinda okay, of course there are times when i thing about the problem i have and i hope it won't affect my life in any bad way . but thank you (once again :p) for your help,it's really giving me strenght,and i'm glad it helps you too! i'll keep you posted for any news :) don't hesitate to contact me as well at any time! BTW my name is Vula!
take care x

Hey vula! Glad you're ok now. Yes it's really great to talk with this about you, thanks so much for reaching out :) Where do you live?

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