Controlling

Since I was 12, which is pretty typical, I've gotten migraines. They run in my family, so it's no big surprise. Sadly, I spent those years in foster care and had no idea - just a bunch of people telling my it was all in my head. I was like "you don't say?"

When I hit my early twenties, I was having them more than once a week; intense pain, vomiting, seizures, severe aura, to where I couldn't even see sometimes. I'd have one and not even remember it, or the three days surrounding the event. The worst thing is how it changes my personality. I get so weepy and emotional - and feel incredibly volatile. People who don't know me well and experience it likely presume I'm just a *****. I don't blame them.

Now, I'm older, which helps, and on a combination of meds that keep them from happening so frequently (two or three times a year now) and, when I do get them, they are never as debilitating as they once were. But, they still affect my emotions and I get the aura. I try really hard to remember why I am really feeling that way, and not let it control me. Sometimes, I fail - miserably. And have alienated more than one person in my life for it. I figure they are probably better off without having to be around that "me" so, I just let them go. The last time, was yesterday. To anyone still with me, thank you and I will try to do better next time.
deleted deleted
26-30
1 Response May 23, 2012

i feel that many people who dont get migraines can fully understand how debilitating they are. it bothers me when people think you can just take tylenol and make it go away. like its a sore toe or something.
currently i dont have insurance and cant afford to go to the doctor and get refills for my meds, but am trying to survive. right now is my 5th day with this migraine. i have other stuff going on too. plus no sleep. im super cranky and have little patience for anything and a husband who just doesnt understand. im thinking about bashing him in the head a few times til he gets it. just kidding. lol.
i can still run my household and take care of my child, so he thinks im just fine. *******.