Post

OCD

Hello, I'm new to EP. It sounds like a pretty cool/interesting place. I guess I will share a short summarized version of how I feel.
Ever since I was a young child I have had a problem, a problem where things have to feel even (touch one arm and then the other) and I mess with light switches, faucets, etc for 20 Minutes +. If I don't do these things (or jump in certain places in my home/ spit two different ways while outside, my heart begins to race, I feel fear, panic, chaos, and general unwellness until it breaks into an all out panic attack. I have had trouble in school because of this, and have had a very hard time keeping steady friendships, room mates, and relationships due to my instability. What they don't understand is that my actions annoy me much more than they annoy them, I am in the mind and body of this problem and can't control it, and it has been like that for most of their lives, and they're lucky enough just to be peers. an outside eye watching it happen and not being able to understand the slightest. The lack of understanding obviously creates lack of empathy, and puts me deeper into a state of being lost, confused, stuck and obsessed with nonsense without being able to fix it.
So many people in this country (world?) pretend OCD is a joke, a trend, or a single, slight pet peeve, like making your bed. It is definitely not, and it's disgraceful that people believe this, if you mention OCD, nearly EVERYONE will talk about how they "have" it, and talk about how funny it is. Not being able to live a legitimate life, keep a job, or be well or happy at any point of life ISN'T a joke, it ISN'T a "Pet Peeve" and it ISN'T FUN, by ANY means! It is constant emotional, and physical agony that only a select few can understand. We see a problem that we cannot escape, and live it day to day! Anyways, I finally went to a doctor for it recently. First it was just my Primary Physician and 60 MG Prozac, then she referred me to a psychiatrist. Now I am on 200mg Zoloft, attempting CBT with my therapist (soon) and on Temazepam for rest, and so far, it is doing nothing for my problems really. I still have hope, and I'm going to keep my head up. I know that it will never be gone, but I someday hope for it to be more bearable.
Anyways, I look forward to reading some of your stories and would really appreciate some input to alleviate YOUR symptoms, or at least the stress and stigma from which.

Thanks for your time, and I hope my rant didn't bore you too much,


Io
lagomorpha lagomorpha 22-25 3 Responses Jan 28, 2013

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&& you are soo right about people taking it as a joke and how they have it as well..Personally, i dont have it nor know anyone that has it but i do have done research and such in my Psychology/Autism/Disorders classes, etc. && i can only imagine how much you and others suffer from this...

I hope that you find something soon to help you live a better life :) and soon a cure for this!

Same here I have to touch everything. I even have to go on my tippy toes & bend my knees & step on my feet. I'm 13 now & still have it. If I have pizza, I have to have 4. Your not the only one.

The Obsessive Compulsive Disorder can't make the person to stop worrying about it no matter how much they want to. It happens in the mind no one can see to offer empathy, a hidden disability that leaves the person having it in despair. I had head trauma which has affected comprehension subsequently affecting my behavior. Look normal physically and no one can empathize with my behavior. I feel for you, empathize with you. Keep in touch.