Panic Attacks Hurting Me

I am 34 years old and I suffer from ongoing panic attacks.

There are many more things about me that are interesting, such as my passion and interest for Native American culture and my poetry, but for now, this has taken over my life.
The experience has been surreal, to say the least.  Each day gone by seems like an accomplishment and that I have been very brave to complete it, although nobody seems to understand that.
I really do not know where to start.  I have told my story in the past month to so many doctors who did not care, people who did not care, that I am out of steam on telling it and then I found this website.
I am a writer too so for me to be at a loss for words is pretty difficult.

I can say that I also have PVC's, premature heart contractions which I can feel.  I am sometimes afraid of dying and have a lot of fears of that.  Without insurance and without many resources, I feel very alone.  I have tried to get resources and have managed to see a clinic doctor as my Primary Care doctor and a counselor who is charging me a lot and I almost have to forgo groceries to see her.

I have no insurance. I am overweight and others constantly remind me of it.  I am an attractive 34 years old but of course would be moreso without my weight issue.I do not have supportive family members and my husband, I believe is trying to understand this condition but does not.

All I can say at this time and I will revise later is...I ended up in the ER for panic attacks thinking I was having a heart attacks.  I was given an EKG and no other tests.  I saw a clinic doctor who told me that it is panic attacks and we went back and forth with me crying and begging him for heart tests.  He said I will have to trust him that I just have panic attacks and he said antidepressants will help and he thinks I should go off Xanax.

I have been dependent on Xanax to get me through this condition.

I had to beg a doctor to get that.

I have no insurance and I just moved to Seattle from the East Coast.  I am an unemployed writer.
I am a poet who has yet to actualize my gift but I believe I have a gift.

I suffer daily, I just started taking my medicine (Prozac, generic, fluoxetine)  two days ago but am looking for others who suffer from this and want to reach out for communication, friendship and support.

I think the worst, scariest symptom I have is Heart BOOMS where my heart feels like it stops and then starts over again and it then is like an adrenalin rush, very scary.

I would really appreciate anyone sharing initially and then I will add more to my story when I am more awake.

Sincerely,

Rebekah

 

Rebekah34 Rebekah34
31-35, F
2 Responses Jul 7, 2007

Hi Rebekah, I read your post and I want you to know that there are plenty of people who are dealing with the same thing: you're not alone! I too have suffered from panic attacks and felt similar feelings of total panic. I've been dealing with this now for a few years and have slowly managed to contain it and hack the dark woods back to a more manageable copse that I can at least see the size of. The thing that really helped me was cognitive behavioural therapy (which is a respected established clinical method) and this book was particularly helpful: Overcoming Social Anxiety: A Self-help Guide Using Cognitive Behavioural Techniques (Paperback)<br />
by Gillian Butler (ISBN-10: 1854877038). Read it and most importantly work thought the exercises and keep a diary! Secondly, if you take alcohol or caffeine, give them up now, both are very bad for your panic and will only make things worse. Good luck and remember you are a strong brave person who can beat this but use cognitive behaviour therapy to show you the way.

Hi Rebekah, I read your post and I want you to know that there are plenty of people who are dealing with the same thing: you're not alone! I too have suffered from panic attacks and felt similar feelings of total panic. I've been dealing with this now for a few years and have slowly managed to contain it and hack the dark woods back to a more manageable copse that I can at least see the size of. The thing that really helped me was cognitive behavioural therapy (which is a respected established clinical method) and this book was particularly helpful: Overcoming Social Anxiety: A Self-help Guide Using Cognitive Behavioural Techniques (Paperback)<br />
by Gillian Butler (ISBN-10: 1854877038). Read it and most importantly work thought the exercises and keep a diary! Secondly, if you take alcohol or caffeine, give them up now, both are very bad for your panic and will only make things worse. Good luck and remember you are a strong brave person who can beat this but use cognitive behaviour therapy to show you the way.