This Is My Story.

I'd finally gotten my life straight.
Finally started doing good.
Nine months clean from cutting.

But tonight.
Tonight I cracked.
I have no idea why, but I did.

Feeling the cool blade touch my skin, seeing the blood, it all makes me feel good. It's such a relief.

I hate the scars this weird addiction leaves behind. All they are is a constant reminder of every thing that's happened in my life.

But I cannot bring myself to stop. It just feels so right when I do it.
I don't do it on my arms anymore because I don't like people asking me what happened it noticing scars.
I do it on my legs where they are hidden.

I don't know what ever brought me to start this. But now that I found it, I cannot stop.

Deep down I know I could be doing better things to release this pain, but nothing else seems to help me like cutting does.
And barely anyone understands why I do it. My mom just yells when I do it and my dad just tells me how useless I am and how he doesn't care if I die.
And I only have two close friends that both understand me. Everyone else looks down on me like I'm a disgrace to this world, and that hurts so much.
I want this to end but I have no clue where to begin..
Afate15 Afate15
13-15, F
1 Response Sep 6, 2012

I hope you can talk to someone outside of your family (a trusted adult like a teacher, coach or a friend's parent). Please find help.