Cut

I'm a cutter. Nobody knows except for a few of my friends. I will never tell anyone why. It has come natural to me now. I'm at my cousins house right now...and it sucks. I really don't like going in public with them because they are both really skinny, and i feel like the odd one out. I'm puerto rican, I have dark brown emo hair, dark brown eyes, I'm tall for my age(13) and i have curves...the good ones. Whenever i'm around them i feel gross. I feel fat. I have no other way to release these emotions. I can't write it down somewhere because someone cab always read it. A couple of minutes ago they were pretend making fun of me. I know it was a joke but i can't help but think they aren't. My home life is okay i guess. My mom tries to make ends meet because of my douchebag dad who can't stop drinking or stop doing drugs. My mom gets in these moods where she just yells at everyone about anything. Those are some of the moments i cut too. I cut when i'm mad or sad or just feel gross. I haven't been caught yet....i dont know about you but i hate when people point out my flaws, it kills me. Wriring here is already helping me. It feels good letting my emotions out and nobody knows who i am....I HATE myself. Even when people say im pretty i know theyre lying. In a mirror i see a fat ugly girl who cant even live her life right. I hate it,i hate that i feel this way about myself. I cant stop these feelings....i dobt want to kill myself i just need a release
anonymous74569 anonymous74569
13-15, F
Dec 8, 2012