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My Depression

I have been depressed for almost as long as I remember. I guess it started in my early teens and it just never went away. I have been on antidepressants ever since. I hate mornings and I hate the rest of the day every day. I feel like I hate everything all the time. I used to feel sad all the time but now I just loathe my own existence. I don’t know if this is normal or if I am losing my sanity. I certainly question it often enough lately. It seems that I’ve been depressed so long that I can’t cry any more. I didn’t cry at my mother or my father’s funeral. It’s like I’m desensitized. I wish I could feel something. Anything. I wonder if I will always be this way.
vicarious1 vicarious1 41-45, F 8 Responses Jul 5, 2012

Your Response


I have mental illness too.

No you won't. Things will change

I just read some of these other comments. If they offend you don't pay them any mind. A couple said you were ignorant, which really just means uninformed. Of course the ones that said that are illiterate. Neither of them can spell half of what they are writing. Hang in there Vicarious 1. Wilthril,

Wow, Vicarious 1. I don't think that is normal. I too am depressed. I have been for about 10 years. But I am 45 now. I couldn't imagine feeling this way ever since I was a teenager! I truly feel for you. I never wanna get out of bed or even take a shower and shave. However, I am optimistic. About 2 years ago I dated someone for 2 years. It was the happiest time I have had in a long time. She ended up moving 2000 miles away. We are still good friends. I have not been on one date since we split. I have no desire to date. I miss the intimacy most. Just holding her all night was beautiful! I can't take antidepressants. They make me suicidal. I hope you find a way to get some joy in your life. You need to live, just existing is no way to live! Good luck. Wilthril,

I know how you feel i know I'm only 17 but I recently hit depression and kept crying on and off for 2 weeks and every now and then still do I also hate myself and wish I was someone else at times but I'm stuck with myself and you with yourself but I'm sure we will be happy again because sadness can't last forever.

I used to feel like this...and i don't even know how it stopped...or honestly if it has..<br />
i think we become numb after awhile....(thinkin about you)

what the ****,,,ur ignorant and not me u dont know that it is ur brain that play tricks on you?you can control it wihtout meds...i swear <br />
you can do it by analyzing what makes you depressed and once u can figured it out<br />
your brain can realized and wont play tricks anymore its a sychological matter...theres a lot of caused of a depression and im not ignorant and im not ****** kidding wiht u ....duh !!!

noone can cure depressions but urself...remember the brain will play tricks on you the meds is not the right one ...they just work temporarily

cheer up...always think big be positive all the time<br />
go out wiht ur friends..just hope ull feel better soon