My Life

So two days ago i was venting about how unhappy i am in the relationship that i have been in for going on five years now. He loves me but shouldn't. What i did to him was so horrible on so many levels. The damage i have done is unforgivable. He has lost his confidence, his self worth, drive the list can go on and on. I really think he can be such an amazing guy for a good girl. I would love to see him happy. He is not happy with me and never will be. He just doesn't want to be alone and wont let me go, again. Cause the last time i hurt and embarrassed him so terribly. So yesterday i was on Facebook, which i hardly go on. And i get a message from an ex of mine who tells me he misses me and will rescue me from my depressed life i am living in. He tells me he will buy me a ticket right now to go stay with him. He says that out of all the girls he ever was with, he has always loved me unconditionally. He said i can stay with him and he will never kick me out or tell me what to do... I feel like this is an opportunity that i should not miss out on. I have spent many nights crying feeling like i have nobody to rescue me from the hell that i endure with him every day. Dreaming of a way out but have nobody. Then finally yesterday my dream came true but i am stuck. I want to go but feel bad leaving him without anything. I have done that once before and it killed him inside. I am holding myself back from the life i should be living. I think its the guilt, shame, and lack of self worth. I think i just need a good kick in the ***. Please Help Me Anyone!!!!! I am a young talented beautiful girl wasting her life away depressed and using drugs. I want out but don't have the strength!