I Can't Sleep.

I hate to say it, but it's come to a point where I feel like I have lost the ability to sleep, or at least normally. I suffer from insomnia, so my sleep pattern is erratic, as in I don't sleep for several days, then just pass out somewhere. Every day that I can remember, I've had nightmares, my entire life. That upset my sleep, because it made me fear sleeping from the start. Since then I've been screwed up even more with anxiety disorders and panic attacks. Now I'm always tired, but more than often incapable of sleep. I started getting sleep paralysis roughly two years ago. It is terrifying. I get it whenever I wake up, or almost every time I wake up. I am held, completely unable to move, or scream, and all my worst fears appear around me, more real than the most vivid nightmare, more a hallucination. I don't know how long it lasts, I just know that I'm frozen. For all I know, time could have stopped too. I was taking narcotics for my insomnia, but have since quit the drugs that were the only thing that made me sleep. Those drugs are probably one of the reasons I have it so bad. I used to take them every night, and when I woke up, it would take longer, and I think the drugs helped the paralysis. Now I'm too terrified to take the drugs that were the only thing that made me sleep. I have known many levels, and types of fear. Anxiety, obsessive fears, paranoias, phobias, irrational fears, but the most terrifying thing, is to have them all, in one hallucination whilst being frozen in place.
C3C3C3 C3C3C3
13-15, F
1 Response Jan 10, 2013

Yeah, I also scream, and cry, and do all kinds of crazy stuff while I sleep.