Vv Can Kiss My Hoo-haBefore today, I felt like I was the only person in the world who even knew what VV is. Thank God for all of you and I do hope you all are healing from this stupid , horrible, no good disease!! Women who can just go about their lives never even giving a second thought to the perfect condition of their VV-free vaginas don't realize how insanely lucky they are...b!tches! ;)
I was 19 years old and a sophomore in college when I went to the doctor for the first time. From then on out, I would be at there about 2 or 3 times a month, where I kept being treated for bladder infections, yeast infections, bla bla bla...over and over and over again. At the time, I felt so embarassed and dirty. While other girls were out getting and having the time of their lives....I was sitting at home...running back and forth from the bathroom to any positon i could find that would ease the pain in the slightest. I spent many nights crying in the bath tub filled with cool water and baking soda. My whole world was centered around my vagina...moreso...the PAIN. It was unbearable. Almost a year later, my gynecologist was trying to give me my yearly pap, and I was shaking and crying, and my legs clamped shut....when she finally realized how serious my situation was. She referred me to the leading women's health clinic in the nation, and 3 months later I finally got some answers. Kind of. But not the answers I wanted. Yep, I had VV and there's no cure. Yaaay. I coulda strangled the doctor!
Then started a series of creams, steroid ointments, physical therapy, psychotherapy, dilators, etc etc. The sitz baths really did help the vestibulitis quite a bit, and I only use soap free, fragrance free hypo-allergenic detergents and the same for body wash. I don't shave my pubic area or get brazillian waxes anymore (ugh, can't stand it). But I changed a lot of stuff, that I'm sure you all did too...we all know about 'THE LIST'. haha Anyway, as the vestibulitis cleared up over the next year, I found I still couldn't use tampons. They literally wouldn't fit, my body just pushed them right back out. Shall I even mention sex?! Fastforward 3 years. I am 22 years old now, and married. I have been completely vestibulitis free for 9 months (thank flippin God)! However, my muscles have become so contracted and short that sex is still impossible for me (it makes me sick to tell you that it's been 3 years!! my poor husband..gah i love him!) I didn't respond to the physical therapy, and to be completely honest, it always made me really uncomfortable. I don't like touching myself down there anymore and I have huge self confidence issues about my sexuality now.
What I wanted to say to all of you...is that it can get better, it does get better. I'm not completely there yet, but I'm trusting my body to heal itself, and the only thing I can do is be patient. I might need a little therapy to start lovin my perty little hoo-ha again. But I'll get there.
In the meantime, it's really nice to know that you are out there too. It's a pretty scary thing to go through alone..so thank you. thank you from the bottom of my heart for.....well, for just being there I guess. If anyone has any questions/advice/tips....write me!
VV can kiss our hoo-has ladies!!!! :)
love to all!