Committing Suicide Due To Chronic Body Pain

I am currently planning my exit from this world. I am a normal person with normal ambitions. I am not "crazy" and don't want anybody's help, unless you are a doctor who knows how to magically fix my chronic pain that others have failed to fix over the last ten years. I say fix, knowing full well that it is more complicated than a simple pill, but that's how I feel about myself. I need fixed.

So, I am currently in the process of setting up a smooth transition to move out of my current apartment. I want to move somewhere people don't know me. Partly, because I want to feel normal for a little bit before I die. I want to travel somewhere new, before I die. I am trying to save money to take a trip somewhere and then find a job there or not work at all. I would like to go somewhere warm in the US.

I have a lot of stuff to get rid of. Unfortunately, my family doesn't want any of my stuff. I am going to sell all of it. Craigslist, here we come. That is going to be tricky. However, I guess my weekends will be spent doing that. I am going to write letters to all the people that were helpful to me in my journey in life so far. Those people that made you feel good despite your own problems. I don't think I am going to write any hate letters, for those less than helpful people. It just seems wrong.

I am going to need enough money to pay for a funeral for myself. I don't wish to be buried in the ground. I hope to be cremated, but my family is Catholic and might just ignore that wish. I just think a body is a waste of space. It doesn't really symbolize anything to me. It's also disgusting what they do to a body at the funeral home to prepare for a ceremony along with the associated expenses.

I am going to put on a "good" face for those around me during the last days, so they have something nice to remember. Trust me, my personality is very rough around the edges and even I would not want to be around me at times. I simply speak my mind and don't have any social intelligence to make the conversation smooth.

I would appreciate other people sharing their thoughts. That's why I am putting this thread out there. I am sure that ending my life is going to be the most important thing that I do with my life. I want to do it right and in a way that will make sense to those that care to understand why I have come to this decision.
jobby99 jobby99
Dec 9, 2012