Nothing Left And No Hope

It all started with my parents spliting up and ive been in the middle if it being pushed and pulled. I decided to stay in my family home with my dad and got abused. im 18 and i wanted to go to the marines until my girlfriend fell pregnant. We are no longer toether after 5 years and i feel there is nothing left for me. My child is almost 1 and for the first time in 2 months i seen her today,i havent seen her due to what ive been doing and my ex resents me. my christmas was lonely and to top it off my nan just died. ive wrote my note to say that im going as my ex has moved on with someone else. I cant deal with the pain anymore. Ive overdoes 4 times and been in hospital twice, drank bleach and nothing came off it. I drink, smoke, huff cans and self harm. Ive tried with a councillor etc and anti depressants for 6 months and nothing is improving. My ex wont give me another chance because i fuckes it up. I ended it with her bwcause i thought she couls be with someone better due to what i was going through. Im very close to ending everything, i dont have a fear of dien because thats how i feel will get rid of this mental pain. I just dont see a point in going on, theres nothing left for me.
Renethedalmation Renethedalmation
18-21, M
Jan 9, 2013