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So Scared....

As of January 2009 I lose my best friend, my husband and my support in life for a whole year. He is deployed to Afganistan for a whole year. I don't even know what to expect when he leaves. I am more concered with him than myself right now and he just doesn't want to tell me what is going to happen there. As his wife I would feel much better having some idea what might happen, he is infantry and doesnt believe that a woman should know about anything involved with his company while deployed. I think I might be a little more comftorable, what do you think? Please help...

rorogers rorogers 22-25, F 4 Responses Nov 20, 2009

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Hi there, I AM in the military (in the Combat Engineers but we do some infantry as well...Canadian Military numbers do not compare to the American numbers so we have to be versatile) and I agree, certain experiences really do screw around with your head (as Stella mentioned). Somethings are just best not being said because it can sometimes brings up painful memories...and unfortunately some people do change due to what has happened. In my experience (though I have never deployed, yet) coming home from just training, I had found myself having very little patience with some people, but only because it was a culture shock! Civilian vs. Military. On another note, I also have friends that are currently deployed in Afghanistan and I'm just as worried for them because they are like my Big Brothers. Some of them their 2nd tour. BUT, like every golden women here who has commented on your post, is right. Just keep it real, stay strong and if you pray, pray! Keep writing letters to your hubby...(he'll appreciate it because when there is downtime - he'll re-read them to keep sane when stuff gets rough especially out in the field where there's no internet). Send him care packages...and maybe even keep yourself a journal - I have found in the past that in writing...it can help alleviate some pain. I feel for you 'Ma'am, stay strong girl, you can do this!

Sweety... my husband is in the marines and he's part of the infantry too. trust me... you really don't want to know what goes on out there. you think you're worried now... you'll be insane if you knew. that's why they don't let women go over seas like that. some women just can't mentally handle what goes on out there. i'm not saying you can't at all. i'm just saying... he's not telling you because he doesn't want you to worry.

Stella is right!! She's been there..done that!! Like she said...you are allowed to break down and feel weak...BUT for him you need to try your best and be strong with him. My man is in Afghan now on deployment and sometimes although I want to know what's happening, it's probably better that I don't. Like Stella said, you need to be his "light" that he sees at the end of this tunnel!! We are here for you to be weak with :-)

my bf is infantry and just came back from an 8 month deployment in afghan. honestly...you don't want to know most what they do and what they go through is nothing like we can ever imagine. my bf would share things about his missions when he'd come back from them and i have to admit...it was hard to hear sometimes. but if your husband vents to you about what he goes through...just be there to listen and support him. try your best not to show your worry or weakness. he needs you to be his rock and his support while he's away. infantry messes with their minds....it really does. i'm sorry i'm being so blunt but you need to prepare for that. it's not easy...but you CAN do it!! i promise you! be that sunshine in his storm! if you ever need to vent or anything, please message me. take care of yourself! -stella