This Is Interesting...
Yesterday I asked an EP question. It was pretty straight forward, I asked,
"What ingredients are absolutely essential for a good marriage?"
I had an ulterior motive when I asked this. You see, I support gay marriages and I am tired of hearing the same old "marriage is only about penis~vagina intercourse" answer. So I asked what the essentials of a marriage were.
I wanted to be very clear on this too. I wanted what were the ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL elements for a successful marriage. So I clarified my question by adding another paragraph to it. So the full question was:
"What ingredients are absolutely essential for a good marriage?
We all know that many, many marriages fail for various reasons. But what are the totally indispensable things in successful marriages? From your experience and observation, what are the things that good marriages MUST have?"
I received 22 answers. One or two were deliberately silly, and I laughed, but the other 20 were serious. The one I picked as the best was:
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
"Mutual love, mutual respect and open, honest communication. Sexual compatibility. Being able to talk about anything and everything. Being willing and able to work through any obstacle together. Couples I know that have been together for many years have also said that you just have to let each other be yourselves. It's easy to fall into a habit of "nit-picking" and bickering over little stuff that doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things.
Keeping things in perspective. Keeping things fresh and interesting. Never losing your mutual passion for each other or for life in general."
So, OK, I picked that one as best, but so did a number of other people.
The really interesting thing to me was that only two people mentioned gender at all in their answer. And one of them was quoting a spanish saying. So if we say that 2 out of 20 (leaving the two joke answers out of this) even mention gender, this informal poll shows that for 90% of the people, when they think about what makes a successful marriage, gender is unimportant.