Hooray! Prop 8 Overturned!

As you all probably already know, a judge in California overturned Proposition 8, stating that it violated the civil rights of gay/lesbian couples, making it unconstitutional. I heard about this from the Facebook post of Wavy TV 10.

This issue is very important to me because my aunt is a lesbian, and she is married to a very lovely woman in New Jersey. They are raising three very sweet children together. With this in mind, I took a look at the comments made to the post.

Not just some, but ALL the comments of people against gay marriage cited religious reasons. One woman even went so far as to say that in both the New and Old Testament, the Bible says that homosexuality is a sin, and that if you believe one part of the Bible, you have to believe every part. In a fit of frustration, I searched the internet to find other things that the Bible bans and came up with some interesting results. I condensed them into one list. Here it is (msot of it was just copy/pasted onto this though):


1.   Round haircuts. See you in Hell, Beatles... and/or kids with bowl cuts, surfer cuts or (my favorite) butt cuts. Leviticus 19:27 reads "You shall not round off the side-growth of your heads nor harm the edges of your beard."

2.  Football. At least, the pure version of football, where you play with a pigskin. The modern synthetic footballs are ugly and slippery anyways. Leviticus 11:8, which is discussing pigs, reads "You shall not eat of their flesh nor touch their carcasses; they are unclean to you."

And you're doubly breaking that if you wake up, eat some sausage then go throw around the football. Or go to the county fair and enter a greased pig catching contest.

  1. Fortune telling. Before you call a 900 number (do people still call 900 numbers, by the way?), read your horoscope or crack open a fortune cookie, realize you're in huge trouble if you do.

    Leviticus 19:31 reads "Do not turn to mediums or spiritists; do not seek them out to be defiled by them. I am the Lord your God." The penalty for that? Check Leviticus 20:6: "As for the person who turns to mediums and to spiritists, to play the harlot after them, I will also set My face against that person and will cut him off from among his people."

    Seems like a lifetime of exile is a pretty harsh penalty for talking to Zoltar.
  2. Pulling out. The Bible doesn't get too much into birth control... it's clearly pro-populating but, back when it was written, no one really anticipated the condom or the sponge, so those don't get specific bans.

    But... pulling out does. One of the most famous sexual-oriented Bible verses... the one that's used as anti-************ rhetoric... is actually anti-pulling out.

    It's Genesis 38:9-10: "Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so when he went in to his brother's wife, he wasted his seed on the ground in order not to give offspring to his brother. But what he did was displeasing in the sight of the Lord; so He took his life also."
  3. Tattoos. No tattoos. Leviticus 19:28 reads, "You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves: I am the Lord."

    Not even a little butterfly on your ankle. Or Thug Life across your abdomen. Or even, fittingly enough, a cross.
  4. Polyester, or any other fabric blends. The Bible doesn't want you to wear polyester. Not just because it looks cheap. It's sinfully unnatural.

    Leviticus 19:19 reads, "You are to keep My statutes. You shall not breed together two kinds of your cattle; you shall not sow your field with two kinds of seed, nor wear a garment upon you of two kinds of material mixed together."

    Check the tag on your shirt right now. Didn't realize you were mid-sin at this exact second, did you? (Unless you checked the tag by rolling off your neighbor's wife while you two were having anal sex in the middle of robbing a blind guy. Then your Lycra-spandex blend is really the least of your problems.)
  5. Divorce. The Bible is very clear on this one: No divorcing. You can't do it. Because when you marry someone, according to Mark 10:8, you "are no longer two, but one flesh." And, Mark 10:9 reads, "What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate."

    Mark gets even more hardcore about it a few verses later, in Mark 10:11-12, "And He said to them, 'Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery.'"
  6. Letting people without testicles into church. Whether you've been castrated or lost one or two balls to cancer isn't important. The Bible doesn't get that specific. It just says you can't pray.

    Deuteronomy 23:1 reads (this is the God's Word translation, which spells it out better), "A man whose testicles are crushed or whose penis is cut off may never join the assembly of the Lord."

    Oh, and the next verse says that if you're a bastard, the child of a bastard... or even have a great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandchild of a bastard, you can't come to church or synagogue either. Deuteronomy 23:2 reads, "No one of illegitimate birth shall enter the assembly of the Lord; none of his descendants, even to the tenth generation, shall enter the assembly of the Lord."
  7. Wearing gold. 1 Timothy 2:9 doesn't like your gold necklace at all. Or your pearl necklace. Or any clothes you're wearing that you didn't get from Forever 21, Old Navy or H&M.

    "Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments."
  8. Shellfish. Leviticus 11:10 reads, "But whatever is in the seas and in the rivers that does not have fins and scales among all the teeming life of the water, and among all the living creatures that are in the water, they are detestable things to you." And shellfish is right in that wheelhouse.

    Leviticus 11 bans a TON of animals from being eaten (it's THE basis for Kosher law); beyond shellfish and pig, it also says you can't eat camel, rock badger, rabbit, eagle, vulture, buzzard, falcon, raven, crow, ostrich, owl, seagull, hawk, pelican, stork, heron, bat, winged insects that walk on four legs unless they have joints to jump with like grasshoppers (?), bear, mole, mouse, lizard, gecko, crocodile, chameleon and snail.

    Sorry if that totally ruins your plans to go to a rock badger eat-off this weekend.
  9. Your wife defending your life in a fight by grabbing your attacker's genitals. No joke. Deuteronomy actually devotes two verses to this exact scenario: Deuteronomy 25:11-12.

    "If two men, a man and his countryman, are struggling together, and the wife of one comes near to deliver her husband from the hand of the one who is striking him, and puts out her hand and seizes his genitals, then you shall cut off her hand; you shall not show pity."

    That's impossible to misinterpret. Ladies, if your husband is getting mugged, make sure to kick the mugger in the pills. Do not do the grip and squeeze (no matter what "Miss Congeniality" might advise). Or your hand needs to be cut off.

-Having sex durring a woman's period.
-Eating animals without split hooves.
-Fish without fins or without scales (sorry catfish lovers)
-Sex until 33 days after birthing son or 66 days after birthing daughter.
-Clothing with different kinds of material
-Planting of fields with different kinds of seeds.
-Trimming hair on sides of beard or sides of head

NineteenEightyNine NineteenEightyNine
3 Responses Aug 4, 2010

same bigotry, different source

Interesting, would you like to hear other reasons that are based on law?<br />
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The word "marriage" is copyright protected. It has been used for centuries to mean the relationship between a man and a woman. The word "gay" used to mean happiness.<br />
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The constitution protects the rights of all people, now the happy gay people have taken away that right and forced the public to let them change the historic value and meaning of marriage along with the legal definition held by many states and countries for centuries.<br />
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It seems to me if gay people want to be together, why not make up their own term? After all, they cannot reproduce. Why destroy centuries of legal definition to a word?<br />
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You obviously have never thought about the impact of letting legal copyrights being taken away. The next time you read a history book to your children you will now have to take time to explain the difference between a marriage and a marriage, whereas before it was unwritten what a marriage was.<br />
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As for the emotional reasons, two men or two women can never have the same feelings that a mixed couple have in a relationship because they are not compatible to the opposite sex. Therefore, legally, they do not fit the requirement of being the "same" as ordinary people.<br />
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As for the bible, it too is protected by copyright laws. I find it interesting that you took the time to look up so many scriptures. You obviously know your way around the book. How is it that you know nothing about the laws of this country and the rights of people who are not Gay? You would ruin those to support that which is not common?<br />
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Gay people want respect from others, but they are not willing to give it to the ones who brought them into the world, "straight people." That makes them criminals as far as I am concerned and we all know that criminals do not deserve respect.<br />
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So, I left the bible out of it, didn't think it was possible did you? LOL

it has always been amazing 2 me how ppl who cite biblical passages as justification 4 their hate always seem 2 use the same few passages (after mostly distorting them), while totally ignoring the rest of the book...such as the passages that u have posted. also ignored r the passages that say...love ye one another, judge not lest ye be judged also, ye who is without sin may cast the first stone, love thy neighbor...and there is a LOT more.