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The Death Of My Life Partner And Lack Of Equal Rights

I lost my life partner 7 months ago to cancer; I have a voice to be heard. So, please share with anyone you wish to convey this message. It's not about marriage as much as it is about equality, so I feel obligated to state my feelings just as much as the right wing, conservative, Christians feel the need to, however there is one distinguishment, I don't hate, am intolerant of, or even disgusted by the right wing, conservative, Christians; it's quite the opposite, I feel sorry for all of them.

Christopher and I were together for nearly 11 years and in that time we created a great life for ourselves. We had 2 small businesses, one being a small commercial cleaning S-Corp, and the other being two rental properties. We worked our ***** off to achieve what we did, and we always had to pay more (and I am talking about more than money, ) as the result of that compared to a couple that is married. We made sure our names were on everything together that we owned because we felt it was one of the few ways we could solidify our lives together and let those that we had professional and personal dealings with know that we were indeed as much a couple as a heterosexual married couple. We never did the yours and mine thing, it was always us and ours, as far as our material possessions, finances, and business were concerned. And here is a small list of perfect examples that him and I experienced in reference to my previous statement.

1. Taxes. We always had to file separately, of course not jointly, so we always paid more into taxes. How is that equality?

2. Loans. On average we had to pay 1% to 3% more in interest rates for home, auto, personal, and heloc loans than married couples had to with similar credit ratings. How is that equality?

3. Insurance. Chris had great insurance; however, I was never allowed to be covered under his policy. We had to pay for mine separately which cost much more than coverage would have under his policy. How is that equality?

4. Social Security. Chris paid into Social Security taxes for 29 years. He received benefits for the last 4 months that he was alive. I am not allowed any survivor benefits, let alone did I get the $255 death benefit that Social Security would issue out to a married couple. How is that equality?

5. Estate. I am being taxed on half of our belongings, could potentially be taxed on one half of the equity in our house( “his half”), could very well have liens put on our house and car by creditors/medical billers, and my exemption level is under $500 for taxation in Indiana, married couples get $100,000 exemption. Please keep in mind that our possessions have already had taxes paid on them when they were originally purchased. How is that equality?

The aforementioned examples show the severe lack of equality that seems to be overlooked and brushed aside throughout this entire fight for equality by those who wish to condemn and oppress us. Since Christopher has passed, it has been a complete nightmare trying to keep hold of everything we worked so hard for and the fact that the estate has not been completed, I live in fear of what may and will come financially because of one simple fact; we were never allowed equal rights. Isn't it bad enough that he died, that I lost my soul mate, that I will be spending the rest of my life a widower, let alone have to endure the entire additional burden?

I hope that my story will reach many people's hearts and give some warmth, love, and acceptance to those who condemn us and give motivation, desire, and hope to those of us fighting for equality.

Peace, Love, and Happiness to All


Redtrekker Redtrekker 36-40, M 2 Responses Aug 1, 2012

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Mate I know what your going through. I lost my partner in Oct 2010 to a heart attack. It's been hell since. He was the love of my life, and my best mate. I miss him so much, life now is just a real drag. I just feel that I am just marking time till I go.

If you want to talk you can try and message me if you wish.

My heart goes out to you for your loss and for the prejudice you have been shown. We stand by you brother.. God Bless xxxx