Never Feel Anything

I've suppressed my feelings since I was a little kid because I saw how people would let their feelings run their lives and I didn't want that to happen. I started just ignoring the bad ones like sadness and some pain. However, as time went on I started to add other emotions that were, and are still, confusing to me. But now it seems that I suppress everything to the point that I don't even feel happiness anymore. It feels like I'm dead inside with some occasional rage filling me inside. I don't trust people enough to let them help or get close to me and now it seems that it's fueling my depression past the breaking point.
L96Arctic L96Arctic
22-25, M
2 Responses Jan 11, 2012

i dont want to drop conclusion bombs...<br />
as a little kid, you had a bad childhood...didnt you?

it wasn't great

i also had a bad childhood....i still have flashbacks....and i try to repress my emotions and dont want that any bad thing in life should effect me........i wanted to be strong and dependable person......i dont want someone else to control my life.......i want that people i love can depend on me at the time of troubles........but somehow i realised its wrong.......SOMETIMES LOSING BALANCE IN LIFE IS A WAY OF GAINING BALANCE BACK.............try to accept that.....accepting your situation, the way you are and the way you have been and your desire to be or lead to better life...only these things can help you...........all humans, even animals, wants to be happy and the fact you are not is depressing cant give up....i dont want you to give check out nick vijuick from you tube(i think my spelling you be wrong) might feel better seeing his reply back to me....i want to know how things are going in your head.....

You need to talk to people. i know its hard but if you dont let some of these feeling out it will destroy you. I dont want to see that happen to you. i dont expect you to talk to me or trust me enough to.... well trust me, but i am here if need to talk. i understand if you dont i really do, i was the same way. but you need to talk to someone before this destroys you.

I have tried to talk to people, i tell them everything and they freaking make fun of me

well i will tell you this. i will not i promise you that

Your advice is horrible, sorry.

I mean, it's nice of you to want to be there to talk to, but just talking to someone isn't necessarily going to do anything.

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