Five More Days.

I'd felt as though I was going to die before my eighteenth birthday for a long, long time. The night preceding my eighteenth birthday (in November), I was nearly overcome with a panic attack, for I knew, I knew that something was going to happen.

After I successfully turned eighteen, I became convinced that I wouldn't last the rest of the year. I would surely die before I reached the year 2009.

I have five days to go. I admire people for being able to join this group right now; I, however, am not so positive. After all, who the hell knows what the next five days may bring. There is a myriad of horrors that could occur between 11:00 pm on December 26, 2008 and 12:00 am on January 1, 2009. A car accidents, a psychotic killer, a freak kitchen accident, an unexpected heart attack, a sudden outbreak of Captain Tripps, an inadvertant nuclear catastrophe... honestly, death is everywhere.

I'm not expecting to die within the next five days, necessarily. Nay, I'm not that completely morbid and pessimistic. It just would not surprise me at all if it does indeed happen.


SheistheLorax SheistheLorax
18-21, F
2 Responses Dec 26, 2008

THAT reminds me of Y2K How we all thought that would be the end of the world<br />
........BUT.........<br />
We are still here and most likely this old planet may outlast <br />

I reached a low on Christmas Eve too. I gave serious considertation to commiting suicide. Then I remembered it's only the depressin talking and told myself that repeatedly then went to bed. I experience the same thoughts every day and remind myself I'll feel much happier in Spring. The pain is only temporary.