I Survived A Past From Hel And Turned It Into Strength

;) I come from a past from hell, and hell it was, abuse - physical and mentally, rape, molestations, atched my mother and siblings beat, I was beat on a regular basis...it was total hell. My father brain washed us all, (10 of us kids) he did not want (according to him) weak children, that feelings and emtions were a weakness so he would brain wash us to feel nothing, if we cried he would beat us, that kind of thing, any emotion displayed, we would be beat. By the time we hit teenagers, we were so cold, empty, nothing. I spent half my life in therapy to undo what he did. Sadly some of my brothers did not survive the hell, they are mentally screwed for life. My therapist after many years with him told me one day I could use this past as weakness to continually break me and destroy me, or use it as a strength and carry me through life, so I turned that and used it as a strength, and now I am a strong, strong person, I am the person I am today because of my past, I will no longer let it take me down and destroy me.

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26-30
5 Responses Feb 23, 2010

Yes, I can understand human pain and suffering, unfortunately, I had to learn it the hard way. I find the best people to talk to for your problems, are people who've also faced sufferings, the commonality of the shared experience bridges a connection where healing can take place a lot more quickly. I think you will find Victor E. Frankl's book "Man's Search For Meaning" very enlightening. It is about his holocaust experience. I read it awhile back....but the gist of the book is this: Man is not defined by what happens to him. He alone defines what his experiences will make of him.<br />
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I am not sorry for the maturity I now have. You know what SassyBabe? You would make a very good psychologist and therapist and friend. You have a great deal of intuitive wisdom. <br />
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((((HUGS!)))))

One thing about the evil in our past is that ...as you have said "There is no recourse" there is no do over. We pick up the pieces and live with the consequences of what has been done to us....and what makes our lives so precious is that the events of our past is irrevocable.... therein lives the fragility of our human existence. <br />
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And for the bad memories when they threaten to come upon us again. ..We have the choice whether to give in to the depression and despair or look for hope and choose better. To focus on the present and what we have and what's good in our lives. To look at ourselves as victims or look upon ourselves as victors. And sometimes it can be a constant battle. <br />
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And SassyBabe39, what you said " We can let our past be our strength or our weakness". I am no longer the same person I used to be before what happened to me happened. That kind of suffering has matured me a great deal. And I am no longer the same person as a result of it. But I like the new me a lot better... I am stronger, more resilient. and very aware of the long lasting results of consequences. Whereas in the past I use to wallow in self pity and depression, now I choose to look for solutions, to recognize the onset of anxiety attacks and turn my thoughts in other less disastrous directions. <br />
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I know that making a habit of choosing to win over losing yourself, when you do it often enough,over and over again, becomes a pattern. Here below is a quote by Emerson<br />
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Sow a thought and you reap an action, <br />
sow and act and you reap a habit, <br />
sow a habit and you reap a character, <br />
sow a character and you reap a destiny.<br />
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So to answer SilkyPantyGirl's question on whether a vicious past can be overcome, the answer is " when you can choose strength, over and over and over and over again, until it becomes an ingrained habit in you....the answer is......You can indeed break free from your past. Because victory is already a part of your character and very much ingrained in your choices. <br />
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To answer SilkyPantyGirl on the statement " You "ARE" human"<br />
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Here is an observation by Victor Frankl. He was an Austrian Neurologist, Psychiatrist and Holocaust Survivor. In the human sufferings he encountered in the Concentration Camp he was held at, being witness to the atrocities that was being committed there day after day, he said: " Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose what will be our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom." That choice to make is a uniquely human one.<br />
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The humans spirit has proven time and time again to surmount great odds. We have discovered the DNA double Helix, climbed Mt.Everest, we have airplanes, and computers that can work at the speed of thought powered by microchips less than the size of a fingernail. All these things were inconceivable less than a 100 years ago. But they are a testament to the fact that our uniquely human experience can indeed be a rewarding and victorious one. <br />
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I hope that satisfies the question

Well done for that "excuse me", SassyBabe39. Yes, there are so many people that have a past that still can hurt and unbalance them. I'm always amazed at how many of them that there are. And yes, God bless you and those that are still around to tell us about it. I count myself lucky that I never had it that hard. Still couldn't set someone straight that touched me up just after New Year though, but next time I will. Looking forward of posting that experience on EP too :-)

Through "WHOSE" Strength ?<br />
"If" YOUR OWN, I'll lay you "Odds" IT WON'T LAST 'Forever'. (YOU "ARE" Human.)

My husband always said the same God Bless you