The Hardest Thing I Ever Went Through
I broke off my wedding engagement two years ago because I realized that my fiance was not the one for me. Since we were together for five years, I already felt like we were married. The decision to end that relationship was the hardest thing I ever had to do. It felt like a divorce. I ended up falling into a deep depression for an entire year. During that year, I didn't want to socialize, eat, participate in hobbies, etc. Although I was the one that ended the relationship, the pain that I felt was so intense and unbearable.
Today, two years later, I am much stronger and am able to live a normal life again. Looking back, I didn't think I'd ever be able to come out of the depression. There are still days where I feel sad about it and miss him, but most days I am feeling pretty good about things. I know deep in my heart that our relationship would have never lasted, and that we were together for the wrong reasons. I still haven't met anyone else, but I feel like there is some other destiny for me. I wanted to share my story for anyone that is contemplating a break up, or is struggling through the grief and pain of any kind of breakup.
Six months after writing this story....some days are difficult. Not so much because I miss the person, but because of the scars of the pain of the breakup. I'm afraid of commitment and scared of getting attached again. I feel emotionally fragile most of the time and cringe at the thought of settling down. I want some peace in my life. Like the warm feeling that everything is going to be okay.
16 months after writing this story....I almost never think about him or the breakup. Not because I didn't care or didn't love, but because I have healed. It has been three years since we broke up. The feeling of wanting to attach to someone is back. Although commitment is scary on many levels, I think that fear would greatly subside with the right person. The feeling resurfaced because awhile back I met someone that gave me those feelings that were missing in the previous relationship. Unfortunately, it didn't work out, but he made me realize that I could feel good about attaching to someone again.