Unexpected Broken Engagement

How are you coping now three months after murmurlee? I am in a very similar situation to you. My ex fiance and I broke up 3 weeks ago, I know hw still loves me and is still very attracted to me and I feel the same way about him, but his unresolved issues with his family, in particular, with his parents and the hard childhood he had, made it very hard for him to accept that there was a chance that things may not work out. He rather be alone for the rest of his life, then risk either of us being unhappy in the future. It's heartbreaking as I feel so much pain for him and I want him and his family to seek help, but there is nothing I can do..

hello, well..actually i posted that comment over a year ago.. but if i may say so.. let me tell you that im doing great, ive never been better, there was a moment when i thought i was going to die, today i can say from the bottom of my heart that breaking my engagement up, it was the best thing ever. i learn from that experience that things happen for a reason and you just have to trust God, i also learned that when somebody is not meant for you, you have to let them go... i did, it was hard, but trust me, it was worth it, today i am dating with the most amazing man and just thinking that if i were married right now, i couldn't have the opportunity to be with him! Everything happens for a reason, trust God and please, reflect in my mirror and see that it is better to be alone , that stuck with somebody that wont make you happy. learn to let go and learn to be happy. please take care, and if u need anything, im here to listen. God bless you.

Hi Murmurlee,
I just wanted to say that your story is giving me hope, in my dark days right now. My ex fiance just broke off our engagement seven days ago today. I am heart broken. I was blindsided and i am in so much shock. He told me it was him and i did nothing wrong, that i was actually an angel. I am so confused and angry. He will not talk to me or i am trying to stay strong not to contact him. I know things happen for a reason. And i am trusting God to bring me through this.

Dear Loveand faith, my fiance broke our engagement 2.5 months ago. we tried talking through some of the issues but everything has fallen apart a few days ago. I've been a mess - can't sleep, eat and have been crying most of these 2.5 months. I feel your pain and you are not alone. I feel like I'm never going to get over him. I miss him constantly and he won't have any contact with me anymore. It is truly the worst situation I've been in. I am sorry for what happened to you. I wish I was doing better to give you hope. I feel completely empty and alone.

Hello, mxle2011.

How are you doing? I'm in a situation like yours except that my love went from suggesting and us entering into a break while I started therapy to be happy and healthy because I was severely depressed over missing him throughout our 2 year, 1400 mile/2 time zones engagement where we spent 17 days together to a so-called "relationship" with a female who flirted with him while we were engaged, she recently divorced, and didn't drop out of his life completely even when I told him to tell her that her behavior was disrespectful to me, us, him, and our relationship in 2 weeks. I found out that something had happened through a former friend of ours/current friend of his and when I called him, telling him I loved and trusted him and asked him what'd happened, he stammered and asked if I were still coming to visit him when he was next in California. I said yes and again asked what had happened. He told me he had a hot dinner waiting and we would chat. We didn't chat about it and when I brought up the topic again a month later, he grew agitated and upset, telling me to accept that it was over between us. I begged him to call me back, on the verge of tears. He promised and didn't call me back. We've since chatted and he aired that he still loved me, was attracted to me, and vacillated between opening up the "relationship" up to include me. I'm no one's friend with benefits although I was lonely enough to consider exchanging sexy photos with him. I'm still praying he wakes up to me again, soon, since he was the one for me after decades of unrequited love. What I don't understand is that this female is a clingy, needy, selfish, emotionally manipulative, and immature woman and he can't see that she's the one that's unhealthy, saying that she can't stand the idea of him going to China to earn money (I would've never expressed that since all the first year we were apart, he was building his resume and saving part of his earnings to visit me for a week). My therapist and other sensible friends assure me that this "relationship" won't last, that she'll find someone else and he won't commit to her. I'm still devastated although what got me through the years we were apart were my closeness to friends and family, my English as a Second Language teaching adults job, and very frequent communication with him. It does hurt, though, since it's like because of certain unavoidable factors--me leaving my job mid-semester and before a semester when I didn't know if I'd have a teaching assignment and he unwilling (read: unable) to leave his dramatic, needy family to fend for themselves and help each other, he gave up.

Do let me know how it's going for you. I can tell you that I miss him and love him, am still in love with him.

Most Sincerely,

kitchenchild

*other--he

I also miss him as my best friend. He also called me his best friend. I wonder if we can be best friends throughout this experience and if he was sincere when he said he was hurt by what happened. I'm hurt by it and he knows this. If we're so hurt, why did he rebound and I'm unable to?

i've been there too. i was engaged to who i thought was my soul mate. he left w/o warning just one month after proposing. i too accepted him and his daughter into my home, and treated them like family. he proceeded to come back asking for forgiveness. i granted it, only for him to leave again after a "petty" disagreement. i cant even call it a fight because he was arguing via txt while i was at work training on a new position. he walked away the second time and broke up with me via txt while he was chilling at my house, and i was at work. this was right before the holidays, my bday and a day before a romantic wknd getaway we had planned. that was 4 months ago. today marks the day he proposed a yr ago. it still hurts deeply, especially since for whatever reason, he's talking trash about me on facebook. imagine that? he left so cowardly, humiliated me, and abandoned my daughter and i..and he has the nerve to talk smack on FB? i never crossed that line, or disrespected him in that way. it's so gross. and i see now, i deserve way better. he's very immature, cowardly, passive-agressive and i'm sure i too dodged a bullet...as hard as it is.

thats so good to hear. its not ez to remember that things happen for a reason when there's so much "noise" and questions racing thru your head. but i'm glad theres hope. i hope to find someone amazing too one day. thx4sharing ur story murmurlee