How Do You Move On?
On November 23 I was dumped after over 5 years together. We would have been engaged for a year on Christmas eve. We were set to get married on 2/4/11. I had my birthday roughly a week after he broke up with me and turned 25. We meet in college and became instantly close. We lived apart for a year when I graduated and moved home about 2 1/2 hours away and saw each other very little, he proposed while we still lived apart. Then he moved home as well to student teach in May. All summer we spent together living about 20 min away at each of our parents homes in order to save for a wedding and a home. When we first got engaged I wanted to go off to an island or something and get married, I have never wanted a wedding because of all the stress. He told me he really wanted a wedding so I agreed. Once we started planning I really became excited. We started early so we could get the wedding payed off and rebuild our savings for a down payment on a house. At the end of the summer he started his student teaching and worked weekends as a cook at a restaurant. He was worried about being able to do both so I told him if he need to not work that would be fine I would work and help him out. I am a social worker and don't make a ton of money however I love my job. I want to go to school and get my masters but decided to wait until after the wedding. When he started school I took on a second job on the weekends as a waitress. Half of my regular paychecks and all of my tips went into our savings account. He decided to work and put a little here and there into the savings. We did not spend much time together because I work a lot of nights to for my families and we both worked on weekends. We have always had a really trusting relationship and I would sometimes go for a drink after the restaurant with a male friend of mine. About a month before we broke up he called me and asked if I minded him going out with one of the female bartenders a work for a drink, being ever trusting I said of course. They began talking and I even went to the bar one night with them, she seemed really cool and someone I could be great friends with. I felt really luck because we didn't have many friends in the area. After going out with them on that Saturday, I received a call from him on Monday needing to talk to me about this powerful thing he did at school that day. When I called him in between my appointments he didn't answer his phone, no big deal he never hears it, so I called him again when he did answer he apologized because he had been on the other line with this girl. That did not sit well with me, and after talking for awhile he reveled that he thought he had feelings for this girl he knew for about three weeks. After much talking and thinking and of course crying we decided to work on our relationship. He said he would stop talking to her and that we would spend more time together and put some wedding plans on hold. After what I thought was 2 great weeks some of the best we had had since I left college he called me and said he respected me and cared about me and had to tell me something important. He said he was not ready to get married, my heart sunk, but that didn't really matter I loved him and just wanted to be with him. When I asked about us he said he loved and cared about me as a friend but was no longer in love with me. He further told me he would be so unhappy marrying my thinking of the what ifs. I became so upset especially thinking of the wedding dress I had already bought and the chapel and wedding invatations that I had gotten and paid for. Worse was just the night before he told me he couldn't wait to get a home and live with me. After five years he ended our engagement and relationship over the phone, wow. He was always the sweetest man who I never doubted loved me and now he was being the biggest jerk alive. I feel as if I have no idea who he is. He graduated from college on Saturday and I wrote him a really nice e-mail telling him how proud of him I was. He responded and thanked me. However from facebook (the worst thing for a breakup) I found he was saying what a wonderful time he has been having and such as I am sitting here with a horrible broken heart. I finally had to remove him as my friend but all I want to do is call and talk to my best friend. I miss him so much and he has agreed to pay for just about everything, but it's not the money its the hurt and the love I lost. With Christmas approaching I am having a very hard time and just want the holidays to be over. How do you get over the loss of the friendship?