How Can He Not Feel The Way I Do?
When I met Thomas, I knew it was meant to be. I had always heard that some people just knew they were soulmates from day one, but I never believed that. For one thing, you have to know a person before you can love them! The first day I ever talked to him, I just knew. Friends, if you ever meet someone and just know like I did, you'll know what I mean. This man was practically perfect in every way. My parents loved him, and he loved them. He felt like a member of my family. We agreed on almost everything, we shared all the same interests and tastes, and had been raised almost to a tee the same way. It would take me all day to list all the ways we were alike. He fulfilled my whole "Prince list." When I saw his name pop up in a sea of hopeless suitors on eHarmony, I just knew. We spent hours upon hours on iChat and Skype. It was so perfect. Every step of the way, I knew more and more. So did he. Before he ever proposed, everybody knew. It was a done deal. We were getting married. But he wanted ttme to be sure, and I gave him as much time as he needed. He surprised me by proposing one day while we were in an argument.
It was the happiest time of my life! He flew home, my mother, sister and I prepared for the wedding. I could hardly believe I could be so blessed! I was getting married to the best imaginable man ever! We were going to have our honeymoon in the Smokies, then drive all the way to Tampico, where we were going to live.
Meanwhile, his parents were not so happy. A typical Mexican mother, Thomas' Mom wanted him to stay at home and be her little boy. She fought him tooth and nail, even enlisting friends to come talk him out of it. She threatened him that God's Word says "Obey your parents, that it may be well with you," saying that if he married me, it would not be well with us. She lied to missionaries about us, his Dad called our completely pure relationship "scandalous" and they told people that I was not a Christian because I wanted to marry a man I met on the internet. They made his life miserable until, you guessed it, he gave in.
I still remember that fateful night. He called me, saying that his mother was banging her head on the wall and screaming that he did not love her. He swore that he would never give in to her. The following day, he LIED and said he still planned to marry me, but would not speak to me the rest of the afternoon. He called my Dad and asked my Dad to give me the hard news. My Dad told him to be a man and break it up himself. So he called and broke it up. I didn't plead with him, since I knew it would do no good. I simply sat and cried quietly as he talked. I know he was going through a lot, but it's no excuse for what he did to me.
I cannot tell you how bad the pain was. It took me a week to tell the dressmaker that the wedding was off. It took a month to tell my grandparents. I kept a detailed journal of the entire thing, it all hurt so bad! I got so depressed, I lost joy in things like going shopping, watching movies, going for walks, etc. Even now, 3 years later, I am hurting so badly I can hardly breathe! At times I feel as if my chest is crushed.
He now says that we would have been foolish, and that he did not love me that much. He acts as if I am an embarrassing nuisance that came into his
life and made him miserable for no apparent reason. How can I love him with all my heart and miss him so much, and he does not even miss me?