You Can Move On After Heartbreak

What s it about so many relationships that eventually end up in Heartbreak. I think most of us have been through this in our lifetimes, some more than others. As someone who has suffered through this calamity, more than once, I can honestly say it can be the most miserable experience we may ever face. The death of a loved one produces grieving and a hurt heart, but death is so finite, we somehow manage to cope over a period of time. A Heartbreak in a relationship is another story all together, in my opinion, so why oes it create so much pain and lingers for sometimes a long while. What I have learned from Heartbreak:
1) We fall in love with a person we think is perfect, at least perfect for us. Even though that person has a life, has a history and has secrets we may never know.
2) As a result of finding that person, perfect for us, we begin to live a life through them; with them; and involving them. Sometimes we put hat person above everyone else we may know, and make them the priority in our life. If that person is not on the same matter how many times he or she says, "I love You more than life", it is still two different individuals. We may thhink we know ou spouses, our girl or boy friends implicitly..............but, they are still and individual.....with secrets that will never be shared in the mind, body and soul. Itis impossible to know all the secrets, regardless of how well well we know hem (think about your on secrets that you would never share with anyone).
3) Then, comes the real killer for us all......we begin to TRUST whatever is said out of their mouth. We take it to the bank.....If they say it, it must be gospel. How mant times in your life have you betrayed someone's trust? We all have at some point in time. When trust is betrayed in a relationship, someone is bound to get hurt.....there comes that HEARTBREAK! Yeah, we forgive, maybe even forget, but do we really forget? Betrayal is something we struggle with in our life....whether it is with a friend, family member or, the presumed LOVE OF OUR LIFE! Therein lies the foundation for a BIG HEARTBREAK.
4) Finally comes the breakup. For whatever reason (believe me it is never just one reason) one party tells the other I'm done; I'm through; I've had enough, then that is the biggest Heartbreak!

What we experience when our heart is broken by another peson is a mulititude of emotions: Broken Heart...of course; Despair...absolutely; loneliness...without question; self-doubt as a person...for sure; Anxiety, Depression and worthlessness often follows. A Heartbreak with someone you care and love so much is without a doubt the most miserable time most of us face, and most of us don't deal with it very well! Rejection is one o the underlying feelings that devastates us during a Heartbreak. We ask, how could she/he do this? How did they say all things they said and then reject me? These are all the emotions I have known personally, and if we are not careful it will destroy us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I say all that so that anyone suffering through a Heartbreak can understand............YOU ARE NOT ALONE! You were not the first person to be heartbroken by the "love of your life". Most of us have suffered through at sometime in our lives, or will someday. The good news is this........Heartbreak is a temporary thing. Sure it may last for weeks, months or longer.....but it will surely pass, if we look ahead. What I have found when my heart has been broken is, I spent too much time looking back and what I felt; what we had together; the passion that existed; the kiss, the touch; the smell; the places we were together! Once you can put all that behind you and focus on the now and the will see that time will heal you of your hurt. If I can provide one bit of information to anyone about Heartbreak, it would be this: NO ONE IS WORTH DWELLING ON ONCE A HEARTBREAK OCCURS! It is easier said than done.....but they were not willing to Die for you, so why should you be willing to Die for them? Yeah, a little piece of us dies with a heartbreak, but if we keep going, that little piece will regenrate itself....I know, I have been there! Don't let Heartbreak end up breaking you. It is an unfortunate side effect of this thing we call Life. And Yes, it is a side effect of loving someone else and letting them into your mind, body and soul! It is a cruel experience practically all of us will or have faced..............YOU ARE NOT ALONE! IT WILL PASS!

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7 Responses Nov 28, 2011

Very well written!

I know this was posted so long ago and I am not sure if anyone will see this but 8 months ago my heart broke. Even though most days I am ok sometimes I question is a piece of me is still dead. Now he has a new girlfriend and I can't help but look at her with pain because she is living my life. I was her for a year and a half. Sometimes I dwell and think of the old times and get angry when I think of how many times he has now spent with her. Who knew it would be so hard to move on from something that wasn't that amazing. But your right... when you trust someone and put them above anything else they mean the world for you. I would die for him but clearly he would never die for me. I cannot wait until the day it no longer hurts me to know he broke me. Thank you for this post for my sliver of peace you gave me tonight....

You are not alone. I am recovering 10 months now. It was the worst jerk I had ever met in my life. I wish him **** off.

Definitely not alone. I am going through it too. All the s*** described in the original post. Except mostly it was my fault. Good luck, hope you get through it soon.

I know how you feel :(

Thanks! Yeah u r right, if they are not willing to DIE for us why should we DIE for them.

Amen! Thank you for posting such an insightful and well written piece. All I can say is from your lips to God's ear for me an everyone else suffering the wreching pain of heartbreak! <br />
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Thanks again!

Thanks Max, I have survived a divorce and many other relationships threw the years. But I have to say that this is the most painful experience of my life. I trying to do the right thing and move on and give her the space she deserves. And I am trying to move on but i cant sleep, eat or concentrate, just like you said in your article, I keep wandering what i could do. But my sense of lost is so great and I feel so incomplete, I can barely take it. I never understood what did felt like and i wish i had never found out.

Thank-you for sharing such a beautiful and well written story.I agree you must mourn but you must also get on w/life.I am finally on the path to new and better experiences.I would be honored to have a friendship w/you.

Max, this is very well written, and makes a lot of sense. Thank you. I would just add that once the heartbreak occurs, allow yourself to look back and grieve for the loss. It takes time to move on. Only time and distance from the loved one can really heal a broken heart. And while it's in the process of healing stay as busy as possible. We really need distractions at this time.