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Have Respect For Yourself To Walk Away....

So I'm only 23 and can honestly say i've been in love THREE times....yes three. Im a Libra, so you know when we love we love HARD. I was that naive person who believed no one could do wrong. I believed in the idea of real love with all my heart. After the second time I told myself I was DONE, no more falling in love, because when its over it hurts WAY too much and you feel like you're whole entire world has fallen apart. (By this time i've put myself in a slick depression and gone to therapy) The 3rd time around was so unexpected....he came out of no where and swept me off my feet. He was perfect. Later on even when I saw signs of behavior I would normally not accept I just swept it under the rug because I didn't want to risk making him upset and leaving. In essence I was losing myself.....compromising my morals and values over someone who clearly knew he had me strung right around his finger. At the end of the day I had to tell myself...honey

1. THIS is not love. Someone who LOVES you will not allow you to compromise yourself.
2. Someone who LOVES and doesn't want to lose you wouldn't ignore your messages and phone calls. Every second, they would want to be with you.
3. RESPECT yourself enough to walk away from this. You don't have to CHASE anyone for love/respect.
4. If someone is trying to go they WILL...trying to get them to change their mind and begging them to come back not only makes you look weak but desperate. My mom didn't raise a fool.
5. You have to tell yourself R.I.P to the old partner...stop thinking about the past and how many good times you had together. People change end of story...and the person you thought you knew and fell in love with has died and is gone. Once you realize that the better off you'll be.


We have to stop making excuses for those who were heartless enough to walk out with no real reason and put yourself on TOP the pedestal. I know its easier said then done but at some point you have to tell yourself ENOUGH is ENOUGH dammit. Trust me....no one wants to be alone. Especially being so used to cuddling up with someone every night. But you have to think about it logically and realistically....you want to cuddle with the OLD partner not the one that's changed bc its no longer a mutual feeling. Why would you want to be cuddled next to someone who doesn't want to be with you.....

I know this all sounds harsh but i believe in TOUGH love. I had to snap myself back to reality when I found myself going back into that depression and feeling sorry for myself and I told myself I'm NOT gonna do this to myself.

YES it hurts
YES you want them back
YES you wish things never changed
YES imagining them with someone else hurts like hell
but guess what.....

not only are they gone..but THEY chose to leave, knowing how it would effect you. So its up to YOU if you will allow....im sorry more like GRANT them to have so much power. Because at the end of the day its YOUR choice.

YOU aren't alone....their are others going through what you are going through at this moment
YOU will find love again...REAL love. Yes there is someone out there PRAYING they find you.
YOU have the mental ability to get through this
find the fact of you still moping about this a year past disgusting and disrespectful!
Don't be afraid to seek help. Therapy, friends, and if you are believer pray to God about it. Nothing is too big for him.
Do whatever you need to, in order to find peace. Because hate in your heart will consume you too.

I end this this to say again...RESPECT yourself enough to walk away, RESPECT yourself enough not to lose your dignity and your DESERVED respect. Its hard trust and believe I know...there were nights i believed my heart would stop because I was in so much pain...mornings my heart would race because I realized he was gone, possibly in someone else's bed. Its okay to cry. A major part of your life walked out on you, someone who you trusted....but you have to tell yourself you'll be okay...cuz you WILL be. Empower yourself and be your own cheerleader...its one thing to say it, and another to BELIEVE it! Yes time can heal some wounds..but only YOU decide when to get up and start applying the ointment.
God Bless.
RealHeart27 RealHeart27 22-25 4 Responses Sep 30, 2012

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This is truly helpful to me I'm 22 and going through the worst heartbreak with a guy that I loved so much we were together for over a year and was there for him and his daughter when he had no one and was about to be on the streets and lost myself with trying to please him and focus on getting his goal and dreams a reality and losing sight at mine and know he is with someone else and says he is finally happy which breaks my heart completely and makes me feel like I was nvr good enough this just happened about 3 wks ago so it's still painful but I know I need to focus on me and get my life bck together now as much as it hurts I know I can make it and by reading ur story it helps me a little more

Beautiful young woman, it's hard to believe that someone so young can have so much insight.
I'm 65 years old and going through the same type of experience. Thank you so much for sharing. If one of your tender age can have such conviction to move on, surely I can also. Your encouragement means a great deal to me. May God continue to bless you.

I loved this! So honest and I think number 5 in particular was really great... about people changing and that old person being dead is so true. I loved and appreciated everything you said! Good luck and I hope you continue to take all the advice in this story!

Im up at 6AM eastern standard time. I started off my new year finding out that my ex boyfriend of a month had gotten back with his ex girlfriend after 2 years of leading me on. I was with him when he had nothing no car so he drove mine no job so i paid his bills and nowhere to stay so I let him stay with me and now that he is on the up and up he wants to take everything i helped him build and give it to someone who demeaned me and our entire relationship he has treated me as if I am something on the bottom of his shoe as if we never went through what we have gone through together. I want to thank you for this letter. It's helping me in more ways than one. I've felt completely depressed even more at the fact that he has no remorse and sees nothing wrong with what he is doing and has done to me but one things for sure what goes around comes around. I'm taking this time to get closer to God something I lost site of while being in a relationship with him and I also want to start my year with seeking some counseling. I'm 22 and in college and I know I have a lot more going for myself and I will get through this. It's just the getting through that is the worst part. Thanks again and God bless.

I am amazed that you are only 23,I am 31 and going through my first ever painfull break up,to make matters worse he has not said that we have broken up,just gave me the silent treatment and would not respond to any of my calls or messages,can honestly say I have never felt so much pain.I know I don't want him in my life anymore and it was a shock to me that he could be this cold.I was planning on marrying him so in a way I am glad I found out he could be this hurtfull,the hardest thing that I am going through right now is that he is in my head and its so hard to stop those thoughts.I know I will be happy again but this has shook me to the point where I am scared I might not open up to next person that comes into my life.