Lost And Heartbroken

A year ago I started dating a guy. I was very risk averse in the beginning - I had a couple of bad relations before and did not want to have another bad experience. But he was very nice and managed to convince me in some time.

A month ago he left me. I couldn't believe it for a few weeks - we would meet frequently, talk, everything would be the same as it used to be. Sometimes he would stay with me for the night. I prayed for everything to come back to normal. Yesterday he told me in the face that everything is over and that he "doesn't feel connection any more". I cried as hell all night long, I felt physical pain in my heart, woke up today sad, heartbroken, and not knowing what to do. I looked at my face in the mirror, saw bruises from tears under my eyes and promised myself never to cry again - grieve, feel sad, heartbroken, frustrated, anything, but never-never cry again. Crying just makes me feel even worse.

I am trying to keep going, but it's so hard. Everything reminds me of him - I go to sleep on the bed that we assembled together, we had all the same friends, we used to practically share the apartment, I read on FB our long conversations... every corner of my own apartment reminds me of him.

Yesterday he told me that maybe after spending some time away from each other we will understand that we made a mistake and will be together again. I pray for it to be true and for it to happen. Try not to call him, try to close away from him - just to give him time and space to give it another thought... but every minute I just keep thinking and thinking about how it was a year ago when we just started. All these thoughts and memories.are killing me.
AnnetteMenshikova AnnetteMenshikova
26-30, F
1 Response Jan 13, 2013

I'm going through the same thing as of now.. I read this and instantly felt where you were coming from. Right now I'm broken up inside that was the love of my young life. He would always tell me we'll be together forever nothing will break us. Then we would argue all the time about trust and just everything. I hope you've healed, that's what I plan to do is to heal my broken heart. I'm broken inside.. teared apart I don't know what to do.